Its getting to that time that the bridge you've been dreading crossing is looming up in front of you. And most vexingly, my work situation is forcing me closer and closer to some less-than-ideal decisions.Without going into details as to why, I think I want to stay in my current job only till the end of August, at the very best. I can still only try to get pregnant in my July cycle. Which means, I'll have to either have to face a transcontinental move at some early point in my first trimester, or I'll have to try to get pregnant once I've relocated to India.
The second option, on paper, does seem ideal. I can go back, have my vials shipped out (although I'm pretty irrationally afraid that they would get lost in transit), and I since I plan on atleast 2-3 months of blissful unemployment (my parents would happily support me in this state for years if need be), I can deal with the entire TTC/ first trimester period with zero work- or moving-related stress, which there will be oodles off if, I try option # 1, which is get pregnant next month and then move.But still, the other choice fills me with dread.
I want to try here. Next month. I don't want to wait 2-3 months to do this. I don't want to try again in a completely new atmosphere (India), even though logic says that, in many ways, it is better. But there is that utterly irrational fear of the unknown.
I want to try here next month knowing that I will have to deal with all the accompanying stresses of wrapping up my job and moving. Knowing that the experiments I have lined up that will work with some of the most toxic chemicals. Of course, you take precautions to make sure your exposure is non-existent, but still.
What do I do? Color me scared, and somewhat conflicted.
The second option, on paper, does seem ideal. I can go back, have my vials shipped out (although I'm pretty irrationally afraid that they would get lost in transit), and I since I plan on atleast 2-3 months of blissful unemployment (my parents would happily support me in this state for years if need be), I can deal with the entire TTC/ first trimester period with zero work- or moving-related stress, which there will be oodles off if, I try option # 1, which is get pregnant next month and then move.But still, the other choice fills me with dread.
I want to try here. Next month. I don't want to wait 2-3 months to do this. I don't want to try again in a completely new atmosphere (India), even though logic says that, in many ways, it is better. But there is that utterly irrational fear of the unknown.
I want to try here next month knowing that I will have to deal with all the accompanying stresses of wrapping up my job and moving. Knowing that the experiments I have lined up that will work with some of the most toxic chemicals. Of course, you take precautions to make sure your exposure is non-existent, but still.
What do I do? Color me scared, and somewhat conflicted.
I don't think there is a bad decision to be made in this case. It sounds like you'd like to try one last time before you leave North America. Why not go with what you want? Life is stressful in many ways. You won't be able to eliminate it before, during or once you are pregnant.
ReplyDeleteI was just in a maternity shop, and a woman there is barely pregnant, and was buying her entire maternity wardrobe because she works for the State Department and will spend the next 9 months in Sri Lanka. :)
ReplyDeleteSo you can make anything work. I think it makes sense to try here next month - removing variables feels like a good thing.
I don't have any good advice to you, but sure hoping you end up making the best decision possible for you.
ReplyDeleteI don't know anything about the toxic chemicals but if like you said you can make your exposure non-existent, then maybe it's not a barrier? I totally relate to you wanting to try sooner rather than later.
ReplyDeleteWhy not try once here? If you get pregnant, you'll figure everything out (in a state of joy!), and you can get help with the transition.
Here...next month... I can't wait. I need some good news.
ReplyDeleteNo one can make this decision but you but it does sound kinda like you've made a decision in wanting to try here next month, that that is what you really want even with the stresses. Choose what feels most right then don't look back
ReplyDeleteThat's a very difficult decision and unfortunately no one can make the choice but you. If it were me, I would do the July cycle, but I am *terrible* at waiting. I think there are pros and cons to both options, so really either or would be fine (apart from the *waiting* with option 2, I hate waiting).
ReplyDeleteWhat a tough decision. I always seem to pick the quickest route possible, so if it were me, I would probably try sooner rather than later, but it's your call - do what you feel most comfortable with...
ReplyDeleteGo for it! What are you doing Saturday afternoon? You won't believe how big and chatty Sunshine is. :-)
ReplyDeleteUmmm, can you set discus to accept google logins?
ReplyDeleteAck! Why won't it accept my name as DORA.
ReplyDeletehaha, I'd love to see her. For this Sat afternoon- can I get back to you in a bit on that?
ReplyDeleteDiscuss seems to have its own unique login process. Never mind what it signs you up as, I know who you are:)
I hope you're able to come to a decision you're comfortable with. Like the others who posted above, I'd probably be inclined to try now, since patiently waiting isn't one of my strengths...
ReplyDeleteI agree with those saying go for it. It's worth a shot. Good Luck!
ReplyDelete