Sunday, July 28, 2013

Yeah, I'm stressed

I went out to a comedy club last night, and it was awesome. Had a couple of glasses of wine, and I woke up this morning at 6:20 am with a sense of blind panic: what the FU*CK am I going to do, and how am I going to manage to have a baby? I've had all of these fears since the negative test, but never at such an amplified level; alcohol, which is apparently supposed to make you relax, is not so very kind the next day. Another one of biology's decidedly unfunny pranks.

I've had 3 great quality (based on morphology alone) blasts transferred, with no pregnancy, which does not bode well at all. You never know what will happen the next round though.

Coming to India to do this was the decidedly lower tech but cheaper approach. I did not think it would be this low-tech though, I thought when I came here that I would be able to biopsy the embryos, but that option was one my RE was not comfortable with, despite the tools being available. Mind you, I was well aware that this approach would not guarantee success, what it would do would be to provide a basic answer: do I have an issue with aneuploidy, and hence, have to go to donor embryos or adoption to have a baby?

There is another thing I've learned recently, and it is an interesting fact: We assume that if there is aneuploidy, it comes from the egg or sperm (and more often, may be the egg). Turns out that they have done studies which show that in a large number of cases, aneuploidy is introduced during the first few cell divisions of the fertilized embryo. This is why there is mosaicism and a high degree of aneuploidy in the day 3 embryo. As cell divisions progress though, the process appears to become more efficient, which is why some some mosaic embryos may be rescued and may even produce healthy babies.

But the point of all this is: cell culture conditions in your IVF lab may matter. Interestingly, RMA-NJ appears to have a lower rate of anuploidy in their blastocyts (32% as opposed to 50%) from some other groups. Is it something different they do? They are definitely trailblazers and pioneers, because they came up with the CCS technology (no mean feat), so yeah, that is possible.

To see if my own eggs have any kind of shot,  I've decided to go to RMA-NJ if the next few transfers fail. I've been a busy bee this week: I arranged a phone consult with RMA-NJ, I've started looking into jobs in that area, etc. Sadly, arranging employment with a company over 50 employees in the NJ area (which would qualify me for practically free IVFs) is not looking promising, not unless I go back to a university postdoc position. And if I took that, I would have to stick with it for a while. But I don't WANT to be a postdoc again. Sigh.

Btw, the costs for IVF at RMA-NJ with nothing covered comes to around 12,000 dollars plus 5000 for CCS screening. That is the higher end estimate, I could bring it down in many ways if I become eligible for any of their trials (they have a lot of those). Their donor cycles are 43,000 smackeroos. Crazy shit I tell you.

The money, and arranging it all, is giving me stress. So it would be super nice if the universe surprised me with some good luck, with making any of these next transfers work. 


  1. Things will fall into place...hang in there.

  2. I hope that you can find a job which will help with the costs. Good luck!!!

  3. You are so much like me researching and analyzing everything. I did 3 rounds of IVF and the time it was successful the embryos (now my two sons) were the lowest grade I transferred. I wish there was a crystal ball so you could see the outcome, I am sending you strength and positive vibes. You are one strong lady :)

  4. I'm sorry you're stressing. It's understandable under the circumstances but that doesn't make it easier. I don't know anything about NJ clinics but I did want to say that's an OBSCENELY high price for a DE cycle. And as I see it with DE you don't need the best clinic...stimulating egg production in a fertile person is a pretty easy task for an RE!

  5. Thinking good thougths for you!