I'm having a teeny tiny freak out. FOR NO GOOD REASON.
Everything is okay. J's blood pressure was 130/75 yesterday, so in the normal range. She is getting it checked out every two days.
The baby, as mentioned in the last post, is fine. After I put up the last post, another mom who used my donor told me that her baby was in the 95th percentile for height too. Awwww. As one of my friends puts it, the most random things are turning me into mush. The thought of my baby being similar to one of its (many) half siblings in any way makes me just melt. And I don't even have pregnancy hormones to blame!
Going a little off topic on a rant here, but India's decision to ban sex determination is one of most useless of its many useless decisions. I recently found out PGD is banned too, unless you have a genetic disorder, and can prove you have a "valid reason." Since I have only recurrent miscarriage, I would not qualify.
I wanted to talk about the futility of outlawing sex determination and the unbelievably ugly realities surrounding this situation in this country. I had it all typed out, and then I deleted it. I can't have that in the same post as this (see below!).
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Moving to better, happier topics: my doctor switched the 4D mode on for a little bit at the last ultrasound, and I saw his/her little face!! What is driving me batty is I want to discover my child. For example: This is going to be a biracial child: I spent a looong time wondering (googling) what colored eyes he or she would have. It is going to be utterly up in the air. Most likely, it would be brown, but then I may be surprised because I have people with hazel eyes and green eyes in my extended family. After brown, hazel probably comes in second, with respect to probability. All the rest should be way lower.
And some days, like today, I feel like I have no patience left. Recent studies have shown that babies born at 39 weeks onwards do best, and do slightly better than the ones born at 37 week in many aspects. These findings are prompting people to change the definition of "term" to 39 weeks.
Nonetheless, in India, the average point of delivery for surrogates with singletons is 37 weeks. If you are a surrogate carrying twins, it is before 35 weeks, I think.
I feel like I am hanging on by my fingernails till the 37-week point, and honestly, I should be pushing them all (J who is anxious to deliver, and my docs who will probably give the green light at around 37 weeks) to wait 2 weeks longer. And yet, I absolutely do not want to do that. I need to be disciplined enough to try to do the right thing when the time comes.
Everything is okay. J's blood pressure was 130/75 yesterday, so in the normal range. She is getting it checked out every two days.
The baby, as mentioned in the last post, is fine. After I put up the last post, another mom who used my donor told me that her baby was in the 95th percentile for height too. Awwww. As one of my friends puts it, the most random things are turning me into mush. The thought of my baby being similar to one of its (many) half siblings in any way makes me just melt. And I don't even have pregnancy hormones to blame!
Going a little off topic on a rant here, but India's decision to ban sex determination is one of most useless of its many useless decisions. I recently found out PGD is banned too, unless you have a genetic disorder, and can prove you have a "valid reason." Since I have only recurrent miscarriage, I would not qualify.
I wanted to talk about the futility of outlawing sex determination and the unbelievably ugly realities surrounding this situation in this country. I had it all typed out, and then I deleted it. I can't have that in the same post as this (see below!).
And some days, like today, I feel like I have no patience left. Recent studies have shown that babies born at 39 weeks onwards do best, and do slightly better than the ones born at 37 week in many aspects. These findings are prompting people to change the definition of "term" to 39 weeks.
Nonetheless, in India, the average point of delivery for surrogates with singletons is 37 weeks. If you are a surrogate carrying twins, it is before 35 weeks, I think.
I feel like I am hanging on by my fingernails till the 37-week point, and honestly, I should be pushing them all (J who is anxious to deliver, and my docs who will probably give the green light at around 37 weeks) to wait 2 weeks longer. And yet, I absolutely do not want to do that. I need to be disciplined enough to try to do the right thing when the time comes.
OMG look at your baby! Friends have two little half Indian/half Caucasian girls, and one has the most incredible slate blue eyes with fair skin and medium brown hair. The other has deep brown eyes with a more Indian complexion and dark hair. They are both stunning as I am sure your child is going to be. So very exciting!
ReplyDeleteI love the 4D pic!! So so cool!! You are so awesome for not knowing the gender!! One of my closest friends just did this and the delivery day was extra special :) So close!!
ReplyDeletehaha my not knowing is not by choice. I've begged/wheedled/begged again, but the doctor was firm: rules are rules, and gender is not disclosed in India :(
DeleteYou're going to have a baby very soon! I'm so excited for you. Wishing you all the best!
ReplyDeleteSix weeks and you'll be meeting your child- wow! I love the 4-D picture. It is so neat. I hope that once the little one is here and in your arms, you'll share a picture with us. You are in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful little face! Very cool about finding out half siblings share tallness. :-)
ReplyDeleteI can't believe it's so close! I hope the next several weeks pass quickly for you. The photo is adorable.
ReplyDeleteJust look at your precious babe! I actually wish I hadn't found out the gender while pregnant...tho hindsight is 20/20, isn't it & it's easy to say that now!!
ReplyDeleteSweet little face! You're so very close. Friends are flying to Mumbai right now to welcome their twins. I can't help but have chills and tear up. It still amazes me that this can work.
ReplyDeleteDo you have the u/s movie? We watched that video over and over and I was able to find his penis and scrotum, so no surprise for us. My surrogate also called boy. I feel like I should have earned some certificate after all the u/s studying. It's easier to spot the boys than the girls.
My son was born at 37 weeks, and happily, he was okay. He was so different from my daughter, though, who was born at 41. He definitely could have used a couple more weeks inside. He was much sleepier, not as hungry, and took longer to fight the jaundice that disappeared in my daughter at just a day old. His digestion was a little wonky too, but maybe that was just his system and not the prematurity. We made sure to keep things very quiet and very dark for him so as not to overwhelm his delicate system. It took him about two weeks to get into a more normal sleep/eat rhythm and really start gaining weight. The pediatrician was encouraging, and I think if he had been my first and I hadn't been comparing him to my daughter, I may not have noticed anything.
As for eye color, you just never know. We are Jewish. Everyone in my family has brown hair and brown/green eyes. Our son is blond with blue eyes. It actually freaked me out because I was afraid there was an error at the IVF lab. The DNA test says he's ours, and he's definitely my daughter's sibling (similar faces), but people ask us all the time about his features.
I'm so completely jealous of the experience you're about to have.
lol...I saw the ultrasound movie...and I still have no clue! The doc claimed I had no chance of knowing because she was deliberately skirting that area. Sigh, maybe she was, or maybe I'm an ultrasound idjit :)
DeleteHope your friends are doing well! If their babies are not here yet, maybe I will see them around...I'm going to be spending a LOT of time at Hiranandani. Heck, one of the women in the same ward as my surrogate is carrying twins, maybe they are your friend's babies :) Rather surreal :)
I agree with the commenter above. Both of my kids came on their own, and my daughter was born at 38w and my son at 40w4d. Both healthy and happy, but my son definitely had an easier time of it with fighting off jaundice, eating and sleeping better, stronger neck control, etc. Those last few weeks are hard to wait, but totally worth it for the baby IMO if you can do it! You're so close now!
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