Two days ago was J's 35-week appointment. The handler, who was supposed to ensure that J's appointment was kept, was herself unable to come there this week, and J wanted to cancel. I put my foot down and and badgered her into showing up. Had I not been on the scene playing policewoman, J would have skipped this week, and that knowledge frightens me a little.
It frightens me because when she showed up, her blood pressure was 150/90 and she was admitted on the spot. I'm SO glad she is in the hospital now, where she will be monitored regularly for blood pressure and proteinurea. She is also on medication (alpha dopa) to bring the BP down. It turns out this was the story in the last pregnancy too: things were fine until around this point, and then her BP started rising, and she spent the last two weeks in the hospital.
Thank you Pam and Josey for your inputs. Yes, absolutely, waiting till 39 weeks and beyond will ensure that your baby's first few weeks are more comfortable/easy. I don't think I'll have that choice now. As of now, J cannot wait to get this done. She asked me if she could deliver at 36 weeks. The answer was a firm hell no.I told her that if things are fine medically, there is no way anything is happening before the 37-week point. I also told her that the OB would decide when things would happen.
To make matters a bit more strained, J wants to attend a wedding on April 15th: her sisters. I was flabbergasted: Even if she gives birth on, say, the 12th, I fail to see how she could be up to speed three days later. I'm not going to say, wheee....lets induce on the 9th, which is the 37-week point. All in all, I'm butting out of this and leaving it to the doctor. It is going to be a rather uneasy balance to strike, I think.
I had another jolt when we redid her Vitamin D test...I've been giving her a sachet of 60,000 IU every 2-3 weeks, and around like 6-month time point, her levels were a rather comfortable 23 ng/ml. This week, it was 11 ng/ml!! (just as a note, if you get below 10 ng/ml, you fall into very unhealthy territory).
If she has indeed been taking her sachets as she told me she was, it clearly shows that babies are little vitamin D leeches/vacuums, apparently. I know the mother's vitamin D requirements go up strongly in pregnancy, and it is logical it would go up even more in the third trimester when the growth really picks up, but to this extent?!?
The baby apparently has been growing well. There was an ultrasound done yesterday, and I got the information secondhand through J, and it hence may be inaccurate: it seems rather high for 35 weeks, especially given that this has been a smallish baby all this while: 2.8 kgs (over 6 pounds!). This was a different operator/machine though.
All in all....getting into the final stretch. Gotta pack that bag now. Monday is my last day of work. Hoping to spend whatever little time I have working on that proposal for the book on Surrogacy in India.. It is also time to launch my new blog. And write a few pending blogposts for this one. And prepare for a baby!!!! So very unbelievable.
It frightens me because when she showed up, her blood pressure was 150/90 and she was admitted on the spot. I'm SO glad she is in the hospital now, where she will be monitored regularly for blood pressure and proteinurea. She is also on medication (alpha dopa) to bring the BP down. It turns out this was the story in the last pregnancy too: things were fine until around this point, and then her BP started rising, and she spent the last two weeks in the hospital.
Thank you Pam and Josey for your inputs. Yes, absolutely, waiting till 39 weeks and beyond will ensure that your baby's first few weeks are more comfortable/easy. I don't think I'll have that choice now. As of now, J cannot wait to get this done. She asked me if she could deliver at 36 weeks. The answer was a firm hell no.I told her that if things are fine medically, there is no way anything is happening before the 37-week point. I also told her that the OB would decide when things would happen.
To make matters a bit more strained, J wants to attend a wedding on April 15th: her sisters. I was flabbergasted: Even if she gives birth on, say, the 12th, I fail to see how she could be up to speed three days later. I'm not going to say, wheee....lets induce on the 9th, which is the 37-week point. All in all, I'm butting out of this and leaving it to the doctor. It is going to be a rather uneasy balance to strike, I think.
I had another jolt when we redid her Vitamin D test...I've been giving her a sachet of 60,000 IU every 2-3 weeks, and around like 6-month time point, her levels were a rather comfortable 23 ng/ml. This week, it was 11 ng/ml!! (just as a note, if you get below 10 ng/ml, you fall into very unhealthy territory).
If she has indeed been taking her sachets as she told me she was, it clearly shows that babies are little vitamin D leeches/vacuums, apparently. I know the mother's vitamin D requirements go up strongly in pregnancy, and it is logical it would go up even more in the third trimester when the growth really picks up, but to this extent?!?
The baby apparently has been growing well. There was an ultrasound done yesterday, and I got the information secondhand through J, and it hence may be inaccurate: it seems rather high for 35 weeks, especially given that this has been a smallish baby all this while: 2.8 kgs (over 6 pounds!). This was a different operator/machine though.
All in all....getting into the final stretch. Gotta pack that bag now. Monday is my last day of work. Hoping to spend whatever little time I have working on that proposal for the book on Surrogacy in India.. It is also time to launch my new blog. And write a few pending blogposts for this one. And prepare for a baby!!!! So very unbelievable.
Gosh, a lot to handle - Hope all goes well from now on - Very soon you will be a Mommy!
ReplyDeleteSoon, you will be holding your little one- a nice healthy little one. I am so absolutely thrilled for you. I am also glad that you went with J to the doctor appointment. One of the nice things about your being there versus here in the U.S. during the surrogacy is that you can keep an eye on her. :-)
ReplyDeleteHang in there! Can't wait to "meet" the new addition!
ReplyDeleteYikes! It's great that you are there to advocate for your baby. It sounds like both an exciting and stressful time. I hope everything works out and that the baby gets to stay in the womb as long as possible.
ReplyDeleteWhile it's obvious that you care about your baby and it's very hard won, you come across as extremely condescending towards the surrogate- she's a person and has her own life and family and while this is her job it highlights all the stereotypes of the rich exploiting the poor. It sounds absolutely horrific for her. It's her sisters wedding for chrissakes! She didn't choose to be in her circumstances where her only income is to rent out her uterus! She's a human with links and loves and ties even if she is carrying your baby. And the implication is she isn't taking the vitamin D. I'm surprised you're not forcing her to drink it under supervision.
ReplyDeleteUhm. FYI, because of the many health problems faced by the babies born preterm, the ONLY acceptable reason to induce before term is a medical reason or risk to the mother or the child. This would be true of mothers anywhere, regardless of the socioeconomic class, and would definitely hold true for a surrogate who was not doing this for the money in a country like the US. This should be, and is, the recommendation for my baby, your baby, and everybody's baby, according to the AMA anyway. Any doctor who induces early for a non-medical reason (like attending anybody's wedding) would be considered a very irresponsible one. You may have your priorities, but the medical establishment has theirs, and they are very different. Please become better educated about the hazards of preterm birth before you start advocating birth at 35-36 weeks, for any reason other than a medical one.
DeleteAdditionally, the statement "her only income is to rent out her uterus" smacks of ignorance. It is not their only choice, for sure. I've told J multiple times that she should never do this again, because it is so unhealthy for her, and she agrees and tells me she will get a job to earn money, but never this again. Yes, surrogates in India ARE exploited (I'll be talking at length about that in the future and how to minimize this), but saying that making them wait till 37 weeks to deliver is part of that exploitation is beyond ridiculous. And right now, the definition of "term" is being shifted to 39 weeks, when it has become clear that even babies born at 37 weeks are at risk for many things. I'm not even trying to make J to wait till a "safe point" because she wants out so badly, and the fact that my baby will come early will be detrimental for him/her, but those are the breaks and the situation-specific compromises that one has to make.
As to whether she is not taking the vitamin D or not: Do you think I'm doing this for shits and giggles, and ONLY my child's health? Are you aware of the many problems the mother can face, and how much more better HER overall health would be, if her levels were above 20 ng/ml at least? Right now, my baby's levels are probably much higher than J's and she will be the one to suffer for it. For example, when you are that deficient, your calcium absorption becomes poor, and you can suffer for that in multiple ways: greater risk of dental cavities, long after the baby has been delivered. You also have an increased risk of postpartum depression if your D levels are low, and an increased risk for infection. These are just a few examples: given Vitamin D's prolific roles, I could go on for a while.
For god's sake, try getting better informed before voicing such strong opinions.
I am excited for you and sending many prayers your way! I look forward to hearing more news and hope she can reach at least 37 weeks.
ReplyDeleteIt's an interesting and challenging situation it seems with the surrogate - I would be interested in reading your book. I don't mean it at all as a criticism, and I think the previous commenter came across as unduly judgmental and harsh and you explained your concerns and priorities very well - I agree the priority should be the health of the surrogate and the baby! ...it does feel a little strange sometimes how the surrogate can seem like a rebellious child with not taking her supplements, etc., but I don't pretend to know what it would be like to be her or to be you within the context you're operating within. I'm imagining part of the issue can be a difference in education and understanding but I'm sure there's a lot more to it.
Thanks Kristina: this (the attitude of surrogates from this socioeconomic class ) is an insanely complex topic, and balancing it out with your own response is like walking a tightrope. I'll be writing about this soon here.
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ReplyDeleteI hope you know that my comment on your last post was just to give you a little support and nudging towards waiting to induce if all was well with J & baby. It is SO hard to be patient those last few weeks when you know you are so close to holding your little one in your arms - especially after years of waiting. I of course understand following doctor's instructions if the pre-e gets out of control though!
ReplyDeleteNo worries, I totally know. I'm on the same page: I WANT to wait to induce till 39 weeks, but practicalities are really starting to get in the way :( more on that in another post.
Deleterising blood pressure is not good, so I'm very glad to read for her sake and your baby's sake that she is admitted and well looked after. I hope the pregnancy goes to full term, although I can empathize with her desire to attend her sister's wedding. I think you are so wise to avoid discussion of this topic and leave it completely to the OB who can make a decision based on medical facts, which is entirely what the decision should be based on.
ReplyDeleteAs for Dionysus' comment, I think it was fairly tactless to come in the middle of SciChick's story and voice grievances about inequities and abuse in the world. It's clear to me that you are very aware of the abuse going on in the surrogacy industry in India and that you are taking many steps to avoid that with J. I think you did a good job in your rebuttal of Dionysus' comment.
Thanks Augusta. Always lovely to hear your calming voice :)
DeleteGetting so close...I'm really glad J is admitted so she's more closely monitored, even if the stress & worry may be that much more. I really hope she makes it to 37 weeks...& 39 preferrably. Thinking good thoughts for you all.
ReplyDeleteSigh... I think we'll manage 37 but not 39 :( but still very exciting!
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