This is what my mother (in exasperated mode) said to me this morning. We were getting ready, and I was talking about testing and logistics. She turned to me and said, you don't really think about anything other than this, do you? I truthfully replied that that is kind of correct- no matter what else I'm doing or pursuing, this is always at the back of my mind. I've never really pursued anything this vehemently and determinedly.
My mom let it go but she hates what this journey is doing to me, and her view of all of this is so very removed from mine. She does not want her baby to suffer, and she sees this process primarily as one that has hurt me more than anything else ever has and so she wants me to ease up and step back, for my own sake. Me, I'm incapable of it for the most part.
In addition to fighting infertility, you also have to fight the perceptions that others have. Not blaming them for those perceptions, but boy, its exhausting.
On the test front: This journey is littered with clues that may well be red herrings. Another such one has come up. I had Vitamin D3 checked- my levels are low (16 ng/ml for anybody interested). This vitamin is low in PCOS. I also spent a while asking Dr. Google in creative ways if AMH and Vit D3 are linked, and lets just say I found one tantalizing paper saying they were (Vitamin D binds to the AMH promoter and stimulates its production).
So I'm starting Vitamin D supplementation (that part is fine and sensible, 16 ng/ml is clinically too low) the part that irks me is that I'm looking at this issue and hoping and projecting it to be the magic fix for all my problems, just like I did with the thyroid. I'm so tired.