Hate them. I want to flop down on the floor and indulge in a good limb-flailing session. Here is the background- I'm a postdoc whose work situation was super stable because I had just gotten a 2 year fellowship (its a deal where your salary is funded by an external source, for two whole years). This gave me plenty of time to TTC. Now my boss just informed me that he is being 'courted' by NYU and wants to take me there with him. Its a great university and a pretty nice professional opportunity, but I want none of it. I'm happy in San Diego. I really dislike the idea of living in Manhattan- its cold, you get a little hole in the wall for an exorbitant amount of money, you have to go to laundromats to wash clothes, you walk everywhere because you have to give up your car- I've done all of this for 6 years already, and I was finished with it. And all of this is much harder to do if pregnant and alone.
If I don't go with him, I will most likely lose my fellowship. Then I have to job hunt again, and settling in a new lab is always stressful. There is one possible solution, and that has to do with timing- get pregnant ASAP and deliver by the time he is about to leave- then I can just pack up and go live with my parents in India for 2 years. This has always been my plan (because of violent opposition of my family to daycare in the start), but pulling it in a constrained time frame makes it all so much more stressful.
Don't know what to do, but I guess the number 1 thing is not to stress out. All will be well, I just need to adjust better to new realities.
Where's that crystal ball when we need it? So hard to believe that things really do happen at the right time. I'm thinking your timeline will work out. Why not?
ReplyDeleteWow. I hope it all comes together perfectly for you, but it sure sounds stressful now!
ReplyDeleteMoving isn't fun and I hope that the baby comes soon so you can be with your family. I live near NYC and I know it can be cold. However, it is a fun place, there are different places you can rent in or outside the city and it is usually warmer than you think. Really it is only Jan and Feb that are tough. It sounds like you have time to figure things out and hopefully your plans will play out as you desire.
ReplyDeleteOh no!! It's terrible timing for you. I think San Diego and NY are both cool places, so hopefully, it works out for you. I also don't like cold weather, but like Selkie mom mentioned it's only Jan-Feb.
ReplyDeleteCurveballs always have the worst timing, damn things! What a hard choice to make...hopefully everything will fall into place.
ReplyDeleteMaybe your boss will decide to stay in San Diego?? (wishful thinking for you!)
ReplyDeleteHopefully, no decision has to be made right away. But even then, go with your gut. It will never steer you wrong. Maybe even open up doors you never knew existed.
I didn't know you lived in San Diego! That's actually where I lived for 3 years before moving to Alaska! I don't regret my move at all, but I love Alaska, and even though I loved SD too... it fits for me.
ReplyDeleteBut if you really think you would be miserable in NY, that is definitely an issue... I'm sorry lady! That is super stressful!
Thanks all. I'm not thinking about it now because I have no idea what to do, and the move is many, many months away. Behaving like an ostrich is the best approach sometimes :)
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