Thursday, November 14, 2013

Reassurances and (good) news

I've been rather surprised by the responses to the last post. First, I just want to say that even if I do move, I'll make sure all the legit people who want to find me would be able to. My new blog would be listed through Mel's website, and even if I wiped this website clean of everything, I'd still leave a post with my email address so people could get in touch with me to get the new address.

Also, I'd like to reiterate a big part of why I blog: to make information available to people. To this end, I made this blog Google-searchable a long time ago, and many people have found this site that way.

 I'm also not just invested in making sure the "regulars" find me (that was a thoughtless choice of words). Even if you came across my blog just now and would like to keep reading, you will be able to.

What WOULD suffer through the move would be the information itself. I'd like to still have a Google blog (not ruling out Wordpress though). If I stay with Google, I am not sure if the all my posts could be moved (anybody who knows about this, please tell me if it is possible, and how). Also, it would take a while for search engine optimization to kick in at the new site.

Taking stock, based on the lack of random visitors, I think I am mostly safe. But all it would take would be like one untoward visitor/comment. I still feel violated that I was dragged out there like that. The journalist kept telling me that well, she was given my information, and I kept pointing out that my RE had absolutely no bloody business to do so...but less said about that, the better.

I did get an incredibly nice email from somebody in need who found me through that article, and I want to say that I am really glad he did. But overall, people, I'd rather you found me through a Google search, and not the front page of a newspaper.

Anyway, moving on to pregnancy-related stuff....I got the results back for the Verify non-invasive fetal DNA test....and it was all negative! That conclusively rules out Trisomy 21, and almost certainly rules out Trisomy 13 and 18 and Turners syndrome.

It really, really SUCKS that I cannot find out gender: this test could provide me that information...they have it in a little file somewhere, but because I live in India, I have no access to it. Every medical professional is forbidden from revealing gender in this country. And for somebody like me, not knowing something so momentous is like smearing me with honey and letting ants crawl all over me. Seriously.

Finally, the only fly in the ointment continues to be J's Vitamin D deficiency. She swears she took two 60,000 IU sachets (she said she thew up a lot). I checked her levels again, and they were exactly the same as the last time....14 ng/mL. Deficient. Didn't know what the heck she was doing when she said she was supplementing.

So last week, I met her and watched her have one entire sachet. There are many reasons I'm so vehement about decent levels in pregnancy. One is if you are deficient, your child's risk for stuff like diabetes and other things definitely goes up. Second, Vitamin D deficiency in the second part of pregnancy conclusively and definitively increases the risk for all sorts of stuff  (gestational diabetes, bacterial vaginosis, other infections) that can contribute to second/third trimester complications, including preterm labor. As an important distinction, Vitamin D deficiency early in pregnancy can contribute to preeclampsia. There is so little you can do to even try to protect yourself from stuff like that. All you can do is avoid  pregnancies with multiples, have vitamin D, and check for infection regularly through urine tests. None of these are foolproof shields, but they're all we CAN do, and they may go some way in protecting you.

If things continue to go well... one ultrasound at 16 weeks for my own peace of mind), followed by the detailed anatomy scan at 19-20 weeks, and I cross the 30 week mark 10 weeks later, I may start to really believe that all will end well. Till then, in my too cynical, burned-too-many-times form, I remain deeply suspicious of the Universe's intentions.


  1. Well, I am glad that so far your space has not been too invaded. It is such a tough place to be. I'm glad things are going well with the pregnancy, but I really wish that you could figure out what is going on with J's vitamin D levels. I am sure that you are looking after her in a way that most surrogates do not experience. Yes, I can imagine that you would have difficulty not finding out the gender. I can not even imagine you as a person who chooses to find out the gender at birth. It's hard to imagine that a country which has developed such an industry in fertility still has a stumbling block with telling gender. If it is to prevent sex-selection abortions, it seems like there would be ways around that.

  2. Hm... when I moved from one google blog to another years ago, I had no problem transferring posts (though I don't know if comments transferred back then?). However, when I made the switch to wordpress (2 years ago today, random), it was SO easy, SO fast, and all posts & comments transferred without a hitch (I'm talking hundreds of posts and thousands of comments). Honestly, my only regret was not switching to WP sooner. It is SO MUCH BETTER for commenting and for allowing people to easily follow replies to their own comments (without having to follow all replies to the entire post, or with Disques like you have, commenters blogs aren't automatically linked, which drives me nuts). I would 100% recommend you move to WP if you do end up making the switch.

    At any rate, I'm so glad to hear that things are continue to progress well for this pregnancy. So exciting!!

  3. Congrats, that's wonderful news on the testing! Sorry for gender info withholding - that would be super hard for me too.

  4. I hope this comment goes through, I have such a hard time commenting from my other devices, I had to come to the computer to comment on this one.

    Congratulations on the good news of the testing already done!

    I spent quiet a bit of time prior to my anatomy scan looking at ultrasounds online so that I could know what to expect. Given my very minimal "training" this way, it was still glaringly obvious that I was having a boy. She put the wand to my stomach and did a VERY quick once over to get an idea of orientation of the baby and I shouted "those were boy parts" within 5 seconds of the wand touching my stomach. Then, when they measured femur length, there was no way that she could have avoided my seeing the male anatomy as he moved around and she moved the focus in and out to get a true femur length.

    So perhaps the medical professionals can't tell you the sex of the baby, but they can't keep you from knowing what to look for!

    Here's hoping the baby flashes you his/her goods!

  5. I'm sorry you have to feel suspicious of the Universe's intentions but I hope that this time the Universe is on your side!

  6. Nell you would be shocked and amazed how fascinated Indians are with the male child! And these people come from all walks of life....naturally we would assume that its rampant within the lower income families but you'd be surprised that many affluent and educated families still press on having a male child to carry on their lineage. It does dampen the joy of pregnancy to a certain extent...but its all for a greater good.

  7. So happy that you're tests came back normal. More importantly...its really great you were able to find out about Verify...I am sure not many in India would even be aware of this. Thank you for all that your doing Jay!

  8. It is deliberately not provided to avoid female foeticide, yes. And there is no way to prevent it if the parents were aware of gender, and really were determined to only have a male child. All of this is incredibly depressing. The callous, unthinking willingness of people to kill thier child because it is a girl is beyond comprehension.

  9. Thanks..I've already been looking up ultrasound pictures. The tip about peeking while they are measuring femur length is a good one :))

    Just a warning: I'll be deleting all of these comments in a bit: I don't want some asshole who wants to ensure that he/she only has boy babies to come read this someday, and get pointers.

  10. It is especially beyond comprehension for those of us who would do anything at all to have a child of either gender.

  11. Thanks for the reccomendation. I'll check out WP..the easier commenting option is attractive. I know many people hate discus, and tend to shy away from commenting when they are forced to use it.