Tuesday, November 19, 2013

16w6d: Detailed anatomy scan mostly done!

I got us in today instead of having to wait, and OMG, the relief is indescribable.

My biggest concern was addressed: her cervix is closed at 3.2 cms, as determined by a transvaginal scan.

We did the detailed anatomy scan, and everything seems fine. I kept trying to cheat to see the baby's gender, the doctor laughed and told me that I had no chance of figuring it out. I am going to try again at the 19-20 week scan when we measure femur length. Am not too optimistic of my chances.

It is both a blessing and  a misery that I am not carrying this pregnancy. I'm saying it is a blessing because I probably would have implanted the 4 embryos that 2 surrogates did not implant, and unless we greatly lucked out, we would not have transferred the embryo with the mojo first. Its a blessing because my stress levels would have been through the roof through the entire process. It *may* be a blessing in that I am an untried entity when it comes to carrying a pregnancy longterm, while J is a proven deal.

It is a misery because my baby is nearly 17 weeks along and I have not felt him/her yet. Its a misery because trying to get J to take her vitamins is well...challenging. Nobody else is making sure she eats well...I've been giving her bags and bags of dry fruits (nuts, dates, stuff like that) to make sure she gets some bio available micro-nutrients into her. I have to beg her to eat meat because her B-12 levels are low. Getting her to this ultrasound took 3 scheduling attempts, and a little strategic bribing.

Based on my experience of surrogacy in India, few people are this hands on;they assume everything would be managed the same way they would manage their own pregnancies, and show up 9 months later to get the baby. This is what the medical establishment here advises as well.

I'm incapable of doing that...one of the reasons I moved back to India was to make sure that if I went this route, I could try to monitor the situation. I don't know if that will make any difference, or help at all, but I could not have done it any other way.

I want to meet this baby so badly, but definitely don't want that to happen for atleast the next 18 weeks. I keep counting down the time left once a day.


  1. Oh what great news, SciChick. YEAH! All the baby parts are there!!
    Wow, there seems to be a long list of pros and a long list of cons to surrogacy. As your longtime reader, the pros are weighted more heavily right now, knowing that your sweet little fetus is on his/her way to becoming a baby.
    HAving said that, it must be difficult to not be able to have more say in how J behaves day to day.
    Keep on the sunny side, dear woman. Things seem to be going very well.

  2. I can imagine the mixed emotions- especially for someone who does like to be in control (evidenced by your research when so many of us just take the doctor's word). BUT focus for now on the fact the Baby is still there and growing. Just keep working with J but know there is only so much you can do- otherwise you may be completely mad before the baby is born. (If that happens, can I have the baby? kidding) Take care of yourself. You have to come through this pregnancy also. :-)