Saturday, September 21, 2013

Not looking good

There was a heartbeat, nice and strong, at 178.  There has been growth too, up from 2 mm the last time to 15 mm today. The problem is, at the last ultrasound at 5w6d, it was measuring 5w6d.  Today, at 8w3d, the embryo is measuring 3-4 days behind, at 15 mm (16 mm is supposed to be the normal 8 week CRL).
Normal growth everyday is supposed be 1 mm. This baby is growing at 0.7 mm every day, which is exactly the value I calculated in my first pregnancy. I then had freaked out, everybody pooh-poohed me, and then my mom left, and I discovered my first miscarriage 5 weeks later, which just made it all so much worse.

When the doctor at RMA NJ was asking about my pregnancies, he specifically asked me whether there had been a slowing of growth between 2 ultrasounds (measuring on target at one point, and then behind the next).

According to the conversation I had with him, and reading the accounts of many many women freaking out, it is fine if you are consistently behind (For example, if you measure 6 weeks when you are supposed to be 7, but at the next ultrasound, the lag remains the same and does not increase). But if your growth lag increases with every passing week, then that pregnancy is *probably* on its way out.  This is borne out by both what the RMA-NJ doctor said they observe frequently, this study, anecdotal accounts on the internet,  and what I observed in my first pregnancy.

However, the other thing is that J has been barely eating, because her nausea is so bad. I'm hoping the slower growth is due to poorer nutrition;while that is far from ideal, many women who starve through the first trimester go ahead with no issues. She is also having dizzy spells, which make me wonder how her iron levels are. My RE advised against iron supplementation right now because it makes the nausea worse, but I wonder how anemic she is at this point, especially if she is feeling dizzy. I don't know if poorer nutrition retards growth, or rather, how poor the nutrition has to be to achieve this. She is atleast taking folic acid (and some vitamin D), but nothing else. I had a really long conversation with her about nutrition today, and her options.  We'll see how much good it does.

I've almost resigned myself to the fact that this one may end. If it does not, it will be a very pleasant surprise. My parents talked me out of testing again in one week, because if the lag has only increased but the heartbeat is still there, that just creates more stress. But, on the flip side, if the heartbeat stops soon, I don't want to wait weeks to discover that, for multiple reasons. As a compromise, we agreed to retest in 2 weeks.

What a good place to be in, again. I don't want to be the one freaking out. But I've seen warning signs in each pregnancy (except my second, which looked close to perfect till it was over) and when I talked about them, everybody told me to stop drawing conclusions on insufficient information and stop worrying for "no good reason." Unfortunately, I was right then. I'd really, really like to be proven to be completely wrong in this instance.


12 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear this, Jay. Hoping its related to nutrition. Sending care.

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  2. I can see why you are worried and I do hope that these worries will be vanquished in 2 weeks. But for now, I'm very sorry that you don't feel like things are looking good. I think it would still be ok to hold on to the fact that the embryo has a strong heartbeat and is growing. But I know too well it's impossible not to imagine the worst. I sure hope it's the best that's unfolding.
    Holding you in hope.

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  3. I'm with Augusta. I DO understand why you would worry and yet strong heartbeat is a good good thing. A few days off might just be a result of poor measurement, you know?


    It can happen. I hope this is your time.

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  4. I'm sorry you are having to worry about this, Hoping the news is good in two weeks.and your fears are (finally) unfounded.

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  5. I agree with the ladies here...it could just be an error with respect to placing the cursor correctly. The heartbeat is really strong and you should be happy. I know you can't reason with a scientist...but a strong heartbeat and badass nausea are very healthy positive signs. You guys are in my prayers....

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  6. So sorry you're having this worry & uncertainty. I'm hoping you're proven completely wrong too.

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  7. I am so so sorry you are going through this. My loss was such a shock - perfect at 10 weeks with a strong heartbeat. Measured perfect at 13 weeks but no heartbeat. No signs anything was going wrong except for some slight spotting at 10 weeks which went away. Sadly there is nothing we can do but hope and pray for our little ones. I will be praying for you.

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  8. so sorry to hear this. i think i read somewhere that one of the most effective ways to increase iron levels is to take vitamin c. that might be easier for her to do.

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  9. I hope that your fears turn out to be unfounded and that everything is okay in two weeks.

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  10. So sorry to hear this. Hugs and good thoughts. I hope that you're proven wrong.

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  11. What a beautiful heartbeat! It's impossible not to anaylze past pregnanices and worry about the lag (with good reason, I won't deny), and I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. The waiting is the worst part, but hang on to that heartbeat and I hope your fears prove unfounded and things are perfect in two weeks.

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  12. I'm actaully measuring 2/4 days behind all the time and everything has progressed normally for me. I say I am 17 weeks but I more like 16 weeks 6 days but because they won't update my due date, therefore I will be saying i am 17 weeks 3 day... I am also awear that the U/S are completely subjective the measurements are in mm, such a small thing to measure!! Peanuts are are little at this point and they can curl up and be "smaller" then they actaully are... and on top of that the machine is foucing on a object through 9 or 10 layers of skin fluid and tissue... see where I am going wtih this? I say take a deep breath, and see what continues to grow, I think that this sounds amamzing! I had a very similar HR at my 8 weeks apt.... 17 weeks and baby is going strong...

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