Saturday, February 15, 2014

Checking in: 29 weeks

Random things in bullet points:
  • My OB did get back to me after I finished my last post, saying that the surrogate DID need to be given the anti-D shot. Her assistant had not put that on the report. I then had to get the prescription ordered and get the surrogate to Dr. Bhansal who agreed to give the shot, and I reluctantly decided to get the ultrasound done too, because we were going there anyway. As I was on my way there (with slight trepidation in my silly heart as I was going alone for the first time to an ultrasound), my mom called and told me she had missed her flight and could make it there anyway. YAY. Thank you Universe.

  •  I got proof that fetal biometry readings should be taken with a giant pinch of salt: Remember a while ago that I was mildly nervous that the head circumference (HC) was in the 12th percentile? This time, it was around the 50th percentile, while abdominal circumference (AC), which was around the 50th percentile the last time around, had now fallen to the 7th percentile. The only thing that has been consistent is the femur length, which is around the 80th percentile in each scan. So yeah, fetal biometry, not seeming hot, really.

  • I also met a lawyer to take care of the legal stuff for getting the baby back to the States. Her first question was, where did you do your IVF treatment? She asked me this because there are apparently some doctors in Delhi who have put other people's embryos in a surrogate, and the poor parents have a bone jarring shock after birth when the DNA test revealed that the baby was not theirs. If you are a foreign national who planned to return to your home country with your baby, things get impossible, and there are families in limbo and babies in limbo because of this. Horrifying. She did tell me that she had handled some surrogacy cases coming out of the Malpani clinic, and they had been ethical and did not pull such horrifying cons. It is unbelievable that there would be doctors out there who would do stuff like this.

  • The baby is just past 29 weeks now, and should hopefully approaching 3 pounds soon. Still so utterly tiny. Nearly every day, I google fetal survival and fetal weight and go over information I should be able to recite in my sleep by now. Previously, 28 weeks was my safety mark. Now, it is 34 weeks, where the only issue a baby may have may be an initial inability to suckle. It is also getting more real now: I've been my own person my entire life. It is terrifying and exciting that I may be getting a little person who will take over completely. 

  • I told my aunt (who I am pretty close to) the news. The last time I told a family member I was trying this, their reaction was so ugly that I was badly burned and decided not to tell anybody in the family till the baby was here. In contrast, my aunt's reaction was wonderful. She just kept repeating that she was happy for me that I am getting a child of my own, but so sad that I had gone through 3 miscarriages and such a difficult journey by myself, and that she was just so glad that my parents had been there for me and had known all along. It was a lovely, lovely response, and I am so lucky to have her in my life.  


  1. Yeah, Finn measured 8lb12oz the day before he was born - weighing 9lb13oz! Though I did find that at my MFM's office the measurements pretty much stayed on track, and matched what his final weight was. I think it really depends on the skill and dedication of the sonographer.

    So glad all is going well with your little one - though I continue to be amazed by the difficulties you're dealing with surrounding the basic care for the surrogate.

  2. So wonderful to hear about your Aunt and her reaction...that is what you need at 29 weeks! You are so close now. Yay!!!

  3. I am so glad that your aunt's reaction was everything we could dream of. You deserve all the support you can get. So how quickly are you planning to come back to the U.S.?

  4. I cannot wait for you to get the ultimate gift of the this process... to hold and bring home your little one...

  5. So happy for u guys. Just 10 more weeks to go.... :)

  6. Are you planning a nursery? Having a shower?

  7. I'm so glad your aunt was so supportive.
    Hoping that you won't need any of your knowledge on preemie survival rates.

  8. This is really happening! So happy for you. & hearing how supportive & happy your aunt is is so heartwarming.

  9. I remember reading about you worrying over the HC percentile, and feeling like you best not to. I'm really glad that you are no longer paying too much heed to fetal biometry. I think it's meant to ballpark things, and when the data is an outlier in a very significant way, then the doctors worry. So, 7th percentile sounds low, but it's not as much an outlier as the 1st.

    Oh, I am SO thrilled that you took a chance and told your aunt. And that her reaction was positive. I can see that this sort of input from your extended family would make you feel reassured that you and your baby will be honoured within the family.

    I am so thrilled that your life is about to change completely. 10 more weeks, give or take. I can hardly wait to read all about your experiences as a mom.