tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-576446212615835512024-03-13T08:42:52.465+05:30Stork StalkingA journey from recurrent pregnancy loss to joyous motherhoodAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.comBlogger277125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57644621261583551.post-43178952999974895122017-07-23T00:22:00.001+05:302017-07-23T00:24:49.637+05:30I'm back, and it's hopefully not a once-off!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
OMG fellow bloggers, it has been a while! I logged into my email account after a year, and I saw emails from people needing RE reviews, a company that offered genetic panel testing on the causes of infertility, and I did not even know where to start. I still don't. Maybe I need to delve into the company offering genetic testing, but that is for when my life is far less chaotic than it is now.<br />
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So much has happened in my own life! In a bid to gain the live-anywhere, work-from-anywhere flexibility I craved, I decided to leave a 9-to-5 job behind and go the freelance medical writing route. In doing so, I could finally make the switch to living where I wanted to live, not where my job was forcing me to live...Austin! We just moved here, I became a first-time home owner (no mean feat when you just switched from full-time employment to self-employment) and the move has been EVENTFUL to say the least...the moving company inexplicably sent all my stuff to Oregon instead of Texas, and I'm going to have wait weeks to get it. </div>
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G is now a tempestuous but charming and oh-so-sweet 3 year old. She is funny and affectionate and kind, which is counterbalanced by a demon temper, fierce determination to do what she wants to do, and the impulse control issues that every 3 year old struggles with. Parenting her is so easy in so many ways, and difficult in others, like it is for everybody. I'd read a parenting help book (really want to check out "How to talk so your kids will listen"), but I have no time. </div>
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So many people who have stopped TTC just stop blogging, because it is difficult to find things to say. I think I will always be involved in social media (currently run a 20,000-member strong practical problem solving/deal-sharing group on Facebook), but I did not think I would blog again. Yet here I am- I wrote this post in like 15 minutes, and it's oddly cathartic- I have not even announced on Facebook that I moved, or changed work (I am super private on my own profile), but I just sat down here and it all came spilling out. </div>
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Anyway, we are really looking forward to our new adventures, and connecting with the SMC community in Austin!I know atleast one of you are out there! </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57644621261583551.post-78459421109782511382015-12-28T04:57:00.003+05:302015-12-28T04:57:37.098+05:30Moving across the world, and other adventures<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Oh BOY. What a two months it has been. Early in November, we packed up, drove to the airport just when a toddler should have been settling in for the night, and flew for the next 24 hours from India to the US. I felt my hair should have been turning white through the flight, the stress was that intense. Flights that start at midnight should be banned on the basis of undue cruelty to parents.<br />
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Then we got to the US, and we were in transit at my brother's place (where most of my baby's toys and stuff were packed up and she was in completely unfamiliar territory) for a WHOLE month. Not a good idea, this. She was cranky and screen-addicted for nearly all of that time. Things were only mildly redeemed by the presence a a wonderful park close to home.</div>
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Meanwhile, I flew around the country, interviewed, got a job offer, negotiated and accepted it, and have JUST (as of like 2 weeks) moved to the east coast. Finally, we could unpack stuff and set up a kid's home for her. Her books reappeared, with her toys..so many balls! The effects were miraculous...a much happier child emerged, and the demands for screentime have gone down dramatically,<br />
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Overall, I am having such adventures. Moving back to the country after being out for 3 years creates all sorts of hiccups you just did not see coming. Driving after nearly 5 years has been interesting too. Buying a home's worth of stuff...yikes.<br />
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I have been discovering all sorts of money saving strategies,for example, rebates for shopping! All sorts exist, apparently. This is one that I got on, that I was clueless about 3 months ago: <a href="http://www.ebates.com/rf.do?referrerid=Os%2FAHloc4HQPV%2Fv%2FKRKP0Q%3D%3D&eeid=28187">Ebates</a>: this one gets you cashback for diapers, retail shopping (GAP, Uniqlo, Bed Bath & Beyond, Guess, Sleepy's, Gymboree, you name it, it is probably in there), and this does really help a bit especially during holiday season. Now, if I am not making cash back off my credit card PLUS anywhere between 2-10% off online purchases, I consider that horrendous. What a strange wonderful world we live in! Btw, I am doing this sales plug because I totally make referral bucks off this, but this IS legit. About a 100$ back for holiday shopping is helpful balm indeed, when you open that credit card statement.<br />
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But anyway, coming back to tales of my life: I start work in a few days. Gauri starts her uber expensive daycare. I truly become a single parent in about a month (my dad is still here, and my mom just left): My family helped settle me in, and what was herculean otherwise just got transformed into mildly stressful and busy because of the group effort. Anybody who has a family like mine is lucky indeed.<br />
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But...greetings from the other side of the world! We made it!</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57644621261583551.post-80893232783142177682015-10-24T16:26:00.003+05:302015-10-24T16:33:53.342+05:30The winds of change..<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
When the universe wants to get you going, it sometimes lights a giant fire under your unsuspecting ass.<br />
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That is exactly what has happened to me: after months of waiting and anxiously biting my nails and badgering my poor lawyer, my immigration situation was finally, suddenly resolved. Gauri and I are now the proud bearers of passport stamps that would give us green cards as soon as we entered the US. I thought I would have 6 months for this re-entry, and was languidly planning a vacation in Spain in December before leaving for the US in January.<br />
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*Ahem,* said the universe. I open my passport, and find that I have until the end of November to re-enter (!!!!!). So in less than one month, my life is going to change drastically - in a largely welcome, but also frightening manner, since the unknown always scares the crap out of all of us. Then, reality meanders along, and you realize that every problem just fixes itself, and that your fears were largely unfounded. Or so I hope.<br />
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Gauri is doing wonderfully: we are halfway into the second year! A walking, climbing, running, jumping (or she tries) tornado. She LOVES to play games with people, is super social, and is generally easy going, unless you thwart her in some way. Then, her butt tightens, her back arches, and she releases the dogs of war. There are so many facets to this child: the sweet one, where all of us (and teddy bears, books, dogs, and computer screens too) get spontaneous kisses. The joyous one, where she wakes up with a huge smile on her face. The adventurous one, where she will literally try to climb anything (car windshields, high chairs) she sees, and mostly succeed too. The musical one, where she presses buttons on the cordless phone to get it to play classical ringtones so she can dance to them. The headstrong one, which comes from a naturally strong personality combined with the indulgence of everybody around her---this one makes me go ULP. I’m stern, but practically nobody else is.<br />
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But coming back to what is looming: SO much has to happen now. I have to move back with G (my parents are coming to help settle us in), find a job (searching all over the country, have one interview lined up already, many more need to happen), buy a car, buy <i>everything</i> from scratch (I have taken to haunting the Amazon US website, which I have missed like crazy---given my sale hunting and new-found obsession with finances and stretching and creating bucks out of thin air, have started up a <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/SmartSaversUnite/">Facebook group</a> that anybody of a similar bent must check out).<br />
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This to-do list looks intimidating as heck, but I have to remind myself: one step at a time, and everything works out. Next post, possibly from the other side of the world!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57644621261583551.post-82110351670087939732015-09-13T15:02:00.001+05:302019-06-15T18:23:10.015+05:30Picking the right books for your baby: a by-age buying guide<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i>Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links </i></div>
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As I get older, I am struck by the fact that very few things have the power to change a society as much as reading. Indeed, when people talk about the things that you can do in the early (infant/toddler) years that positively promotes literacy, reading is way up on top.<br />
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The <a href="http://aapnews.aappublications.org/content/early/2014/06/24/aapnews.20140624-2">AAP states that</a>:<br />
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<i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "century" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="color: red;">"Parents who spend time reading to their children create nurturing relationships, which is important for a child’s cognitive, language and social-emotional development."</span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "georgia" , "century" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 15px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 24px;"> </span></i><br />
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Rather excitingly, a recently published study of the brains of 3-5 year-olds revealed that <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/science-proves-reading-to-kids-changes-their-brains_55c26bf4e4b0f1cbf1e38740?section=india&adsSiteOverride=in">reading produces changes in the brain</a> that are actually apparent through MRI:<br />
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<i style="font-family: Georgia, Century, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="color: red;">"The MRIs revealed that children from more stimulating home reading environments had greater activity in the parts of the brain that help with narrative comprehension and visual imagery. Their brains showed greater activity in those key areas while they listened to stories."</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "century" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 24px;">More than literacy, books fire the imagination. Reading teaches you to look beyond the surface, something that not many people in any given society can do. </span><br />
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But while a lot of parents give books a shot, reading to your children and getting them truly interested in books is not easy.<br />
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<li>The reading technique matters, and the book picked definitely matters.</li>
<li>Additionally, the number of books counts: Reading 1-3 books/day (most infant books are done in around 3 minutes flat) definitely does not have the same impact as reading 5-15 books/day. </li>
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While many parents are eager to buy books, they may get frustrated at a child's apparent lack of interest because they have not introduced <i>the right books at the right age. </i>As an example, I found that Gauri would reject certain books at certain time points, and I would be pissed off that I wasted my money, only to have her suddenly fall in love in love with them a few months later.<br />
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While there are many websites and resources providing lists of children's books, few really stratify by them by age. This blogpost aims to do just that.</div>
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In this period, babies see in black and white, and are just learning to track objects. At this point, stick with black and white books. I have not reviewed these personally myself (because I started reading to G when she was 3 months old), but these are affordable, and look like good choices based on reviews:<b> </b><a href="http://amzn.to/1PWqjPA" style="font-weight: bold;">Look, Look!</a>,<b> </b><a href="http://amzn.to/1PWrIG0" style="font-weight: bold;">Baby Anim</a><a href="http://amzn.to/1PWrIG0" style="font-weight: bold;">als</a>, and <a href="http://amzn.to/1KVPp1C" style="font-weight: bold;">Hello Animals</a>,<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">3-8 months</span></b></div>
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Touch-and-Feel books are safe and excellent choices for this age, where I think touch is the sense to focus on. </div>
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I actually only started reading to G at 3 months, with the Usborne series: I got <b><a href="http://amzn.to/1J5AxYO">That's Not My Monkey</a></b> and <b><a href="http://amzn.to/1NwZ29a">That's Not My Panda</a>. </b>She listened well enough (at that point she was immobile, so could not wander off), but did not seem to show much active interest.<br />
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She started crawling at 6 months, which meant she had the option of wandering off if a book did not hold her attention. This allowed me to really gauge if a book held her interest. At around 7 months, I could really tell that her interest in books had increased significantly, when she started feeling each texture. Very soon, she came to have favorite textures: she would make me flip pages till she came to what she liked, and she would spend a while rubbing her fingertips against that.<br />
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I then got more in the series, including <b><a href="http://amzn.to/1QafDgk">That's Not My Dinosaur</a>,</b> <a href="http://amzn.to/1QaUJOp"><b>That's Not My Tiger</b></a> (recommended)<b>,</b> and <b><a href="http://amzn.to/1Kgoadc">That's Not My Lion</a></b><span style="border-color: initial !important; border-image-outset: initial !important; border-image-repeat: initial !important; border-image-slice: initial !important; border-image-source: initial !important; border-image-width: initial !important; border-width: initial !important;"><b><img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_1291955" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=42c1cbba0ac3d06136e2c114775b5bf9&_cb=1442133728961" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" /></b></span><b> </b>(not their best effort)<span style="border-color: initial !important; border-image-outset: initial !important; border-image-repeat: initial !important; border-image-slice: initial !important; border-image-source: initial !important; border-image-width: initial !important; border-width: initial !important;"></span>. If I had a do-over, I think I would have gotten <b><a href="http://amzn.to/1QaV7wg">That's Not My Puppy</a></b><img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_9151682" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=7e62fa599545294662ec28c983f7aeda&_cb=1442135963027" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" /> instead.</div>
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Emboldened by her interest in the Usborne Touch-and-feel books, I started to expand my collection. I got many books, and had many hits and a few misses: if she was bored, she would listen to me read a page, and she would just push off my lap and crawl off.</div>
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My recommendations from this point on are based on the hits and misses</div>
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<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">8-12 months</span></b><i> </i></div>
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A great many things worked during this time:</div>
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She went <i>nuts</i>, nuts I tell you, for <b><a href="http://amzn.to/1iobwmO">Goodnight Moon</a><img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_3573065" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=bc1976e2e0551f77579958d28dd86c70&_cb=1442130993924" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" /></b> (for reasons beyond me), and also <b><a href="http://amzn.to/1Oojx7b">Moo Ba La La</a><img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_2214751" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=a46529625f0538e35be50bece17e2796&_cb=1442131003358" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" /></b> (slightly more understandable) instantly.<br />
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She was more guarded, but still enthusiastic for <b><a href="http://amzn.to/1OojIPJ">Peek-a-who</a><img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_1314408" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=610fe8463d5383f300a7abd1fcd8535e&_cb=1442131016533" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" /></b> (what kept her attention was the promise of the mirror at the end of the book). Her enthusiasm for this really simple book has actually increased, not diminished, in the 12-18 month period.</div>
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<b><a href="http://amzn.to/1KgoKrA">Dear Zoo</a><img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_9098753" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=452e9afee24b8d5f242dca6f280e9122&_cb=1442131030819" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" /></b> was something I bought her later (at 13 months-ish) and it was met instantly with great enthusiasm: it is well-executed, and the flaps are well constructed. I am including it in the 8-12 month list here because I do believe it would have worked at an earlier point as well. </div>
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Some Eric Carle books were also instant hits: again for reasons beyond me. I do not understand why <b><a href="http://amzn.to/1iHaSjW">Brown Bear, Brown Bear</a><img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_9261392" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=45db8a331730d69a0815ecae7bbcfa32&_cb=1442131058209" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" /></b> with its crude illustrations and really simple text (one animal sees the other, and the other, and so on) worked so magically. Its sequel, <b><a href="http://amzn.to/1iHaZvP">Polar Bear, Polar Bear</a></b> (introduced at 13 months), was also a hit, though I think it would have worked at an earlier point as well. </div>
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<b><a href="http://amzn.to/1UPDhQK">The Very Hungry Caterpillar</a><img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_505095" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=049a9a66fe30a99a7288d6f470d58d42&_cb=1442131100665" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" /></b> introduced at this time was also a hit, but a rather conditional one: it worked in part because of the circular cardboard cut-outs in each page; those kept her engaged, and I do not know how successful it would have been without them.<br />
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A slightly off-the-beaten-track find at this point was <b><a href="http://amzn.to/1KgoOYa">The Game of Finger Worms</a>.<img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_7477298" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=662708f9423dfbc9bce46821527e8cd0&_cb=1442131125707" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" /></b> To read this one, you draw faces on your fingers and push them though really large holes in time to the story: I figured this would work because she loved the cutout holes in the <b>The Very Hungry Caterpillar, </b>and turns out I was right.</div>
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Other good books that worked instantly at this point, but also helped her get familiar <b>with the different parts of the body</b> were these two: <b><a href="http://amzn.to/1QaVZAS">Where is Baby's Belly Button</a><img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_5216205" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=2eb8729323219ad648100828a5babb68&_cb=1442131239139" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" /></b> and <b><a href="http://amzn.to/1QaW7Ap">I Love You Through and Through</a></b> (this one covers some body parts, and also emotions: happy, sad, angry, etc, and the illustrations are adorable---highly recommended). While I have not tried the third (<b><a href="http://amzn.to/1Kgp9tR">Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes</a><img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_7699280" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=2b3b3b8d0f5d95870a4069e2fd4f489d&_cb=1442131256001" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" /></b>), I include it here because it is a similar category and appears to be well received.</div>
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<b style="font-size: xx-large;">13-18 months</b><br />
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I think their comprehensive abilities definitely go up after the one-year mark, and many 12-13-month olds may be ready for the multiple-lines-per-age books.<br />
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One case in point: At 8 months, I had introduced <b><a href="http://amzn.to/1Kgpflp">Chicka Chicka Boom Boom</a><img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_6698414" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=e4c547eadb72acbbc6737713442a1afb&_cb=1442131288357" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" /></b>, a long, multiple-lines-per-page book about the alphabets climbing a coconut tree. She hated it at this point: she would listen to one page, impatiently push the book away and walk off or grab another one. I kept trying for a few months, and eventually gave up. Startlingly, one day around the 13-month point, she opened the cupboard, picked out this book and brought it to me, and sat through the first half of it. The next day, the same thing continued, and we inched forth, and soon she was listening to the entire book and demanding I read it to her 5 times a day.<br />
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Another such example is <b><a href="http://amzn.to/1QaWvin">But Not the Hippopotamus</a><img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_2525190" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=f8b406a1bbdcfad4a23526f537bf9ae1&_cb=1442131304492" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" /></b> by Sandra Bonyton. I bought this along with "Moo Ba La La La": while she loved the latter at 7 months, she showed all signs of detesting the former at this time. Mysteriously, at around 13-14 months, without any prompting from me---I had given up---this one became a firm favorite.<br />
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Other choices that worked at this age:<br />
<b><br /></b><b><a href="http://amzn.to/1KgpuwA">Little Blue Truck</a>:<img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_2083201" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=42e59028fffee2ffe2e22c9461fe4f70&_cb=1442133851943" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" /> </b>this is a delightful little book comparing and contrasting a friendly little blue truck with a rude and loud yellow dump truck, and shows the power of being nice to people, and is really easy to read and emote. This was an almost instant winner. The ramifications of this one sink in slowly over time, and I think this book can be revisited by the child many times between the ages of 1~3.<br />
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<b><a href="http://amzn.to/1OokDQ9">The Very Lonely Firefly</a><img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_9187260" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=90f23c35efbe6c4f6d1847e48e13bd50&_cb=1442133863961" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" />: </b>I tried 3 Eric Carle books (<b>The Grouchy Ladybug</b>, <b>Mister Seahorse</b>, and this one, and <b>Firefly</b> was the only one that worked for this age). It is a nice book that teaches kids about the different sources of light, and also introduces them to the concept of finding friends, and when you get to the end of the board book, there is an electronic feature that makes the little fireflies light up, which my daughter does enjoy. Do not know if it is worth the extra $$$ though.<br />
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<b>The Llama Llama series: </b>This is a wonderfully illustrated series that really allows the parents to really emote while reading it: the words rhyme wonderfully. These cover various situations---a baby Llama who is feeling alone at bedtime after his mom tucks him in, and has a meltdown (<b><a href="http://amzn.to/1QaWRpk">Llama Llama Red Pajama</a></b>), a baby who is feeling lost at preschool (<b><a href="http://amzn.to/1OokTih">Llama Llama Misses Mama</a><img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_1868536" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=ab826dd27f4e64ad61eea5eca4b7cf61&_cb=1442131456529" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" /><img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_8904294" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=f5a59cc5d65b99c3d63fed12ec6ef4b8&_cb=1442131414648" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" /></b>), about a baby who has a meltdown while shopping (<b><a href="http://amzn.to/1OokZq7">Llama Llama Mad at Mama</a><img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_1148688" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=4d1f9d80b28b846462fbc09624136540&_cb=1442131439214" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" /></b>), about sharing (<b><a href="http://amzn.to/1QaXgrF">Llama Llama Time to Share</a><img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_8266294" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=1abf932a256f229a57f6e3c49025d27a&_cb=1442131469074" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" /></b>) etc. I have the first, which is the most popular one in the series, and my daughter loved it almost instantly.<br />
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<b>The Best Behavior Series: </b>On the first day that she went to a mother-toddler class, my daughter bit 5 kids out of sheer excitement. I was not to know that she would settle down by herself the next class, and ended up buying a couple of books (<b><a href="http://amzn.to/1Oolmkw">Teeth Are Not for Biting</a><img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_9086641" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=32817d5bda0c3aea2dd5adf784a05f42&_cb=1442131501952" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" /> </b>and <b><a href="http://amzn.to/1M5gXAp">Feet Are Not for Kicking</a><img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_3832298" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=b07dc6ed3dbd7a5984c8a275e6d0a744&_cb=1442131514221" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" /></b>) from this series the very next day. Even though they were not really needed for the intended purpose, I have to say that G went nuts for these straightaway, and that these books are useful: They cover the legitimate uses of teeth (chewing, smiling, and also discuss how to cope with teething pain), feet (walking, standing, running, jumping, and so on---my daughter was immediately entranced by the idea of jumping, and attempted it straightaway), and also tell kids how to respond if they are bitten or kicked. There are a couple of others in the series (<b><a href="http://amzn.to/1M5gXjV">Hands Are Not for Hitting</a></b><img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_4382703" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=90a049ec1f72325c31876fef7dd0e71a&_cb=1442133996727" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" /> and <a href="http://amzn.to/1QaYa7I"><b>Diapers Are Not Forever</b></a>) that look useful as well.<br />
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<b>Learning books: </b><b><a href="http://amzn.to/1M5h3Im">Elmo's Big Lift-and-Look Book</a>:<img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_223667" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=b38bf1804c86cc4eea09a45705d92eac&_cb=1442134016725" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" /></b> This is a nice lift-the-flap book: it covers numbers, alphabets, shapes, opposites, etc, and my daughter enjoyed the crap out of it. The only downside with getting it at this age is that children can get too enthusiastic and rip the flaps off.<br />
<b><a href="http://amzn.to/1M5h530">Ten Wriggly Wriggly Caterpillars</a></b>:If one buys this book, get the hardcover version: It is a great counting book for counting down from 10 to 1, and is nicely constructed. Warning: my daughter ripped out every last pop-up butterfly on the last page though, and it physically hurt me. May want to hold off if you have a rambunctious toddler.<br />
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So far, all my suggestions are fairly mainstream suggestions got from other moms, and are mostly by American authors, other than Herve Tullet, who is French.<br />
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Now we get into the stuff that I discovered by accident--the very best way!<br />
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<b>The Bizzy Bear Series: </b>This series, a chance find in a books-by-weight sale of mostly British authors, is a total gem. While the appeal of most children's books (Eric Carle books are are great example) are evident to the children, the parents often fail to see the appeal. This books are different: babies AND parents will fall for them instantly. These contain cleverly constructed sliders and really cute illustrations (I would love to live in the town drawn up by the author, it is <i>charming</i>). The sliders in these books will keep babies busy for a while. but be warned, these books spur toddlers on to great enthusiasm, so there will be damage down the road.</div>
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They cover various situations: Firemen (<span style="line-height: 1.255;"><b><a href="http://amzn.to/1KgrfKf">Bizzy Bear: Fire Rescue!</a></b><img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_2468558" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=46d2c25adb259766ef8b70ca7a0d6ecc&_cb=1442132447410" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" />), pirates (</span><span style="line-height: 18.2545px;"><b><a href="http://amzn.to/1Kgro0p">Bizzy Bear: Pirate Adventure</a></b><img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_7874910" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=0a2104768fc4297a373cbc80a29d6d0c&_cb=1442132359976" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" />), modes of transport (<b><a href="http://amzn.to/1UPBj2Q">Bizzy Bear: Off We Go!</a></b><img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_6991017" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=4690ee33bc6e43d8a3114fdbe09a4d2a&_cb=1442133111441" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" />), Knights and dragons (<b><a href="http://amzn.to/1iodOSU">Bizzy Bear: Knights' Castle</a></b><img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_5383438" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=8042f5d14dc1ca55dc5ff5c080f96d4f&_cb=1442132416728" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" />) so they are useful for expanding the imagination as well.</span><span style="line-height: 1.255;"> </span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 1.255;"><b>Julia Donaldson Books:</b> This author is HUGELY popular in England (and hence her books are also available in India, the post-colonial influences still exist), but few across the Atlantic seem to have heard of her.</span><br />
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Here is a book by her that would be appropriate for the under-18-months subset: <b><a href="http://amzn.to/1iH8uKd">One Ted Falls Out of Bed</a></b><img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_3636963" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=bdf025957f261c3df9db8490dcdd163b&_cb=1442134381045" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" />. Gauri loved this on the second or third read, and it teaches counting up to 10 and counting down from 10 in a seriously charming way.<br />
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I got a rather limited board book by the same author from a library: the odd thing was that G was absolutely fascinated by her most popular character, The Gruffalo, which was pictured at the end of this rather ordinary book. Have to buy <b><a href="http://amzn.to/1iodYJW">The Gruffalo</a></b><img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_6966200" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=32a6c6ad46c732c552a646943710e09e&_cb=1442134676000" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" /> and <b><a href="http://amzn.to/1UPBxam">The Gruffalo's Child</a></b> for her when she is older. There seems to be a child's board book also featuring the Gruffalo that may be suitable for toddlers: <b><a href="http://amzn.to/1iH8KJ3">My First Gruffalo Little Library</a><img alt="" border="0" height="0" id="amznPsBmPixel_557281" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?source=bk&t=storks-20&bm-id=default&l=ktl&linkId=783aedb345a7b24890b05f6802242848&_cb=1442134767335" style="border: none !important; height: 0px !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; width: 0px !important;" width="0" /></b>: this one looks more interesting than the board book I got.<br />
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Another gem in my books-by-weight stash is this Smarties Prize finalist called <b><a href="http://amzn.to/1LtdHfk">Five Little Fiends</a>. </b>While the recommended ages for this are 2-5 years based on one source, and 4+ years based on another source, it absolutely worked when I introduced this to Gauri at 16 months. This is a wonderfully simple, yet thought-provoking way to introduce the concepts of sharing and harmony: 5 little fiends, who live in 5 statues love to come out and marvel at the world around them. One day, they decide to take what each of them likes best (the sun, the moon, the sky, the land, and the sea) and keep them all for themselves, and they realize that nothing works without the other. At 16-17 months, I do not know how much G really understands of these concepts, but she loves this story, and this is one of those you just have to keep revisiting every few months. HIGHLY recommended.<br />
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<a href="http://amzn.to/1EXrZYU"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51uFLJLqS9L._SX258_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Another book that is recommended for older kids (pre-school to Grade 2), but still really works for Gauri at this time is Boston Globe-Horn Book Award winner <b><a href="http://amzn.to/1UQB3Rl">Mr. Tiger Goes Wild</a>. </b>I cannot begin to express how much I love this book. Certainly, my toddler loves the illustrations even though she cannot understand the ramifications of this story yet, but it is a wonderful story about breaking free from the pack and being true to your own self. It is also a story of acceptance of unconventionality or differences by society, and how one person (or animal) can lead the way for change. Buy this for your older children, definitely, but it may also work for the under-2 set. As this is not a board book, I am very careful when she reads this, because I want to preserve this book for the next 4 years, and have her read it again and again, so some of the valuable nuances I see as an adult may percolate into her consciousness as well. <br />
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<a href="http://amzn.to/1UQC7Vh"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-l8EgFIuE9Fs/VfahcSG1PNI/AAAAAAAAAiQ/M-3FghipBBY/s320/Untitled-14.jpg" width="317" /></a></div>
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Another real winner is this whimsical book with dreamy, lovely illustrations called <a href="http://amzn.to/1OPC4ay" style="font-weight: bold;">The Pear Tree</a><b>. </b>You should consider this if you like singing to your child----it can be sung to the tune of <i>The 12 Days of Christmas</i>, and it goes like "On the first day of January my grandpa showed to me, a pigeon in a pear tree" and so on. So it can teach a child about the months of the year, the changing seasons, various animals, and various relations, and it is about counting.My daughter alternately gets up and twirls to me singing, or is entranced by squirrels and starlings. Score, indeed.<br />
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This concludes my 13-18 month list. Check back in a while, I should have a new crop!<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57644621261583551.post-19373711108824011182015-09-05T15:05:00.001+05:302015-09-06T06:14:10.429+05:30Aylan Kurdi<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I have been meaning to write one of my memory book posts of what Gauri has been upto: stories that I may easily forget now if I do not catalog them somewhere. Today, I have the time.<br />
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But my brain is heavy, because I cannot get <a href="http://edition.cnn.com/2015/09/03/opinions/ben--ghiat-toddler-picture-turkey/index.html">that image of Aylan Kurdi</a> out of my mind. That was another toddler too. <br />
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Collectively, our conscience can, if one is being exceedingly kind, be described as sluggish. But children bring out every last nugget of humanity that we possess. I wonder, if somebody even in ISIS can look at that image and feel no pangs of shame or sorrow.<br />
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I am feeling awful that this burden is apparently just Europe's to bear, based on proximity. It should not be just Europe sharing this, of giving these people a place to live, to try to reclaim life again. Even if different countries take in piddly numbers in an organized manner, it counts for something.<br />
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Words are empty. As individuals, we can do very little, other than donate. And even when you do (I did, to <a href="http://www.savethechildren.org/site/c.8rKLIXMGIpI4E/b.6115947/k.8D6E/Official_Site.htm">this one</a>), one feels slightly empty and shameful about it: after all, I picked this cause because that photo has moved me to tears many times in the past 2 days: previously, this entire thing had been no more than many headlines on a news website: you felt bad about it, but moved on, as we always do. And why THIS crisis? Why respond to this little life lost? Awful things have been happening steadily in the past. Libya. Iraq. It took this image to move me enough to make a piddly gesture. <br />
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But here is to action, piddly or otherwise. Here is hoping that image gets some people in power to move as well. Germany is taking in 800,000. Sweden is also taking people in: do not know the numbers. Various nations appear to be stirring into action. I want the far flung stable nations to take some: definitely the country I live in now---India---should. Just taking some is not enough: these are people that have been traumatized beyond imagining. The effort has to be well thought out, organized, with a plan to give them better than a makeshift camp where they are abandoned to a life of poverty and all the downward spirals that come with that.<br />
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But here, I am just wishing for the moon, aren't I?</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57644621261583551.post-58035382328958407982015-07-03T14:25:00.000+05:302015-07-03T14:36:24.985+05:30The art of waiting patiently and living well<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Central to the <i>Bhagvad Gita</i> is this simple and yet unfollowable piece of advice: Do what you need to do (your duty----this book is big on "duty"), and then quit worrying/obsessing about how things will play out, since that is not in your piddly ability to influence.<br />
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Would'nt life be so much better if we could follow this, to the letter?<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Courtesy Google Images</i></td></tr>
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I am playing the waiting game with the US consulate, and I am trying to forget that I am waiting, and just use this time constructively. Ha. Working on that.<br />
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Before Gauri came along, if you had asked me what I wanted, it would be to be a mother. Currently, if you ask me, I want an email from the consulate saying they will stamp my passport to get me a green card.<br />
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But beyond that? What do I need now to be happy, now that I have Gauri? I asked myself that a few days ago while meditating (I manage a very insignificant, yet helpful few minutes), and the answer surprised me: Not the perfect man, not so much money that I could give up worrying about the practicalities of life, <i>but to be the best version of myself possible. </i><br />
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And here is the thing: it is a workable goal, but the very first step is discipline, and that I have to master, and ALL my life, I have had problems with that, outside of work.<br />
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I want to focus on this now in very small ways, mostly because this is time out of time as I wait, and I really need to be as fighting fit as possible before I get back on a plane to the US to begin the next phase of my life, whenever that happens. Wish me luck! </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57644621261583551.post-3023118907812861562015-06-21T11:55:00.001+05:302015-06-21T11:55:29.360+05:30Not the best of times<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It has been a rough few weeks. First, a giant (but completely sortable) wrinkle was introduced in my US immigration process. Its sorting depends on the response of consulate officials to information supplied via email, so basically, waiting on the cogs of bureaucracy to turn. It could be sorted tomorrow, or could take 3 months. If I was the calm, only-operate-by-logic sort, I would be chilled out and enjoy the extra time I have been granted. Since my jumpy gut is instead in play, I have had multiple insomnia-filled nights before somewhat calming down.<br />
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This vividly bought back the TTC process: I was okay waiting if only somebody could could assure me of success and tell me how <i>long</i> I had to wait. Here I am, with infinitely better odds and a much shorter wait, and my nerves are still shredded.<br />
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In all this, a familiar realization has been re-impressed upon me: It does not really matter what our problem is, because problems come and go: what matters is how we respond to them, and what damage we do to ourselves in the response.<br />
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Tragedy also struck my family: a cousin---one who I liked peripherally but was not close to, having met her only a few times---died of dengue-associated complications.<br />
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I was surprised to find myself crying when I found out: after all, I knew her very little. But cry I did, and gloom and even guilt lingered...that I was NOT grieving enough. When something horrible happens, the rest of the world sympathizes and then moves on, while the principal players are incapacitated for a long, long time. <br />
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Dengue is SUCH a horrible illness. This is the second of two-dengue related deaths in my sphere, and it is not the infection itself that kills, but the consequences of inflammation and other responses triggered during the war between the immune system and the virus. I tried to use what I was feeling constructively: I finally got off my butt and finished writing a blog post about immunity, and how to best arm your immune system so that even if you are infected by a truly powerful bug, your immune system has enough help and is in good enough shape that it does not spiral out of control, not to the point that you need hospitalization or suffer worse consequences: The post is <a href="https://decodingscience.wordpress.com/2015/06/19/shoring-your-immunity-a-multipronged-approach/">here</a>. Please share this one. I do not guarantee that this can work, but such knowledge can potentially prevent so much damage, and I am sick of the damage.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57644621261583551.post-29833851897546287902015-05-27T11:27:00.000+05:302015-05-27T12:46:43.445+05:30Stress<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The other day, I started crying over a tiny, tiny thing. It took everybody by surprise, most of all me, because I realized I am stressed without really realizing it.<br />
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This has been building up, subliminally. When I first got the email from the USCIS scheduling my green card interview, I saw it at like 3 am and had insomnia for the rest of the night. My comfortable and yet uncomfortable world was going to shift.<br />
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I have to say, there is nothing as frightening as an amorphous concept. Moving to a different country. Managing alone with a toddler who, according to my mother, leaves every child she has EVER seen, including her very active sons, in the dust with respect to the energy and activity levels. Plus, she is an absolute daredevil with tons of determination, unfortunately no fear, and only a small measure of caution. For better or worse, her mama has plenty. Of each quality.<br />
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I think what makes it especially bad for me is my biggest decision: EVERYBODY is telling me to leave Gauri here, atleast for a month or so while I move back and figure out where I will be and settle down. This decision, atleast makes sense from a practical standpoint. I may have to interview in different parts of the country, for one thing. If I am hopping on a plane and staying in hotel rooms, it makes sense that Gauri stays settled in familiar surroundings during the process.<br />
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But what makes it worse is my family trying to persuade me to leave her in India long term, with them bringing her to see me, and me flying back frequently, for a year or so. Lots of people have done it, they say. This is true, we know a few. You will not be able to watch her as closely as we do here: this is also true: In India, she has an army to watch her and keep her out of trouble without burning out in the process: A great grandma and grandma and grandpa and an uncle and aunt and maids who are nuts about her, not to mention a mama who supervises the whole deal. You replace that with one mother and one nanny/au pair, and you have to ask....<i>but how will that work? </i>Yet, it will, I know. You just need a system. But when you sit halfway across the world trying to envision that system, it becomes hard.<br />
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But she needs me. And god knows, I need her. My mom has told me to set the me-needing-her bit aside in my decision making process. I cannot. Right now, a month's separation is all I will agree to, but the chipping away continues. And even the thought of being away from her for a month is heart rending. And equally heart rending is the thought of taking her away from all these people who care about her: they need her too.<br />
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Yet, I HAVE to get out of India. This country is not for me. Having lived here 3 years now almost, this, what I knew at 22 when I first left, has been soundly reiterated. But when is the right time to make the transition?<br />
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Not to mention the job stress drama. Yes, networking really matters. More about job searching later. currently trying to pin down recruiters in various companies. Like slippery eels, they are. Anybody know any fabulous head hunters who recruit for life science-related positions who I can entrust my resume to for a fee, let me know. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57644621261583551.post-64023637036874298452015-05-21T16:35:00.000+05:302015-05-21T17:19:25.584+05:30Transitions<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I am poised at the edge of a huge transition, one that I have been awaiting for a long time now: my return to the US. I probably would be able to pack my bags and jump on a plane mid-June (not that I will), and that thought, not surprisingly, is scaring the bejeezus out of me.<br />
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Gauri is not ready to leave India yet. This place has been so wonderful for her. Yet, leave it we must, well before her second birthday, probably.<br />
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I have a monster job search to manage. After the scarcity of opportunities in India, the US appears a veritable smorgasbord. But it is not easy. There are recruiters on LinkedIn to be plagued, random strangers to be called, professors to be emailed, nails to be bitten to the quick. If anybody has need of an immunologist with superior scientific communication skills, holler.<br />
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Gauri also is in transition. Over a month ago, she was a little baby hulk: Gauri see, Gauri smash. Now, her nurturing side seems to be emerging. Little bears get picked up, get patted rather forcefully, are nestled into the crook of her neck and walked around till they fall asleep. She suddenly loves cuddling with me at night before she goes to bed. Out of the blue, she went from hating Chika Chika Boom Boom (a book about the alphabets climbing up a coconut tree, and falling down) to demanding that I read it to her 6 times a day, sometimes in succession. Her playfulness (which was always present, right from the start) is really blossoming: her favorite game is acting like she wants to feed us while she is sitting at her highchair; the moment we present ourselves, mouths open, she plops the food in her own mouth and grins gleefully. Toddler hood is also making its presence felt in less charming ways as well: this kid has an operatic voice, and cannot really communicate verbally yet, so resorts to pointing (with her whole body), and going UUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHH! <br />
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Wonder what is coming next, in every sector. With Gauri, every process is a joy (mostly). With the job search, and I am still rather enjoying it four days in. Ask me in a month. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57644621261583551.post-56885789417322871932015-04-23T00:33:00.000+05:302015-04-23T00:48:13.538+05:30One!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It has been twelve wonderful months since Gauri arrived!!! When you are going through infertility, you cannot believe that such milestones will ever grace your life, but arrive they do, and you get to eat this:<br />
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I was an awful record keeper all year. So for her party, I decided to make up for that: I put together a movie of her first year, showing her month by month, covering milestones, journeys (by road and by plane) taken, videos of her dancing, videos of her eating with a ferocious concentration, videos of her attacking other people: it was SO great putting it together. I would love to put it up here, but have decided against public sharing. I did share with all my blogging buddies on Facebook. Btw, if we are blogging buddies but have not yet connected on Facebook and you want to change that, drop me a line. </div>
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This kid, OMG, this kid. Her personality is a joy to behold. She is super social. Usually, babies do not interact much with people as they go out for walks, from the sampling I have seen. They are just wheeled around, with both parents and child just staring straight ahead. Not this kid. She is usually hanging out of her stroller, which terrifies the crap out of people who do not realize she is strapped in (three point harness, ugh, Graco), checking out the wheels, waving to people, craning her head behind to see who we passed, playing peekaboo with grandma: she is just so THERE. And people really respond to that. I have seen people who would normally just ignore kids start engaging this child.<br />
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She talks a little now. "Mama" has not yet emerged---- this kid's first words really reflect her priorities. First came "boto"(bottle), followed by "dog" and then, a few more like "ball" and "boo" (book), followed by the most meaningful communication of her first year, "bye!" She uses this one like a swiss army knife: when people are getting ready to leave, when she wants to be taken somewhere else, and this use took the cake: to change the subject as I was reading her the riot act for biting me. Fun times ahead, clearly.</div>
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If you ask her "who is a cutie pie" she proudly thumps her chest. If I ask her " who is a goonda" (Hindi for hooligan), the chest gets thumped again. If the maids ask her (in Hindi), what her name is, that chest gets thumped again, much to our amusement.</div>
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Happy birthday darling girl. You have brought so much joy into so many lives.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57644621261583551.post-60992743809147990652015-03-13T15:05:00.000+05:302015-03-17T15:28:11.513+05:30RIP Paul Kalanithi<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I read the news of a passing of a stranger yesterday, and it has stayed with me since because of the sheer power of his words.<br />
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Paul Kalanithi was a neurosurgeon at Stanford and a tremendously gifted writer. After he was diagnosed with aggressive metastatic lung cancer, he wrote two utterly haunting essays, entitled "<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/25/opinion/sunday/how-long-have-i-got-left.html?_r=0">How Long Have I Got Left</a>?” for <i>The New York Times</i> and “<a href="http://stanmed.stanford.edu/2015spring/before-i-go.html">Before I Go</a>” for <i>Stanford Medicine. </i>Both essays are must-reads, the first especially so for members of the medical community.<br />
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It is funny that one of the reasons that I feel so particularly bad about this is because somebody with so much eloquence was taken from this world, while everyday, so many good people pass relatively un-mourned by the general public.<br />
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But anyway, it is this man's eloquence that spurred this post, and got me talking about something that I have pondered in passing for several months now. Kalanithi, addressing his infant daughter who was born only days after he was released from the hospital, said this in his second essay:<br />
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<i><span style="color: orange; font-size: large;">When you come to one of the many moments in life when you must give an account of yourself, provide a ledger of what you have been, and done, and meant to the world, do not, I pray, discount that you filled a dying man’s days with a sated joy, a joy unknown to me in all my prior years, a joy that does not hunger for more and more, but rests, satisfied. In this time, right now, that is an enormous thing.</span></i><br />
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These are words that will resonate with me,and with many of you, because he put into words what so many of us feel, but cannot express. And the scope of his statement is not restricted to people whose days are numbered, but ALL of us, really.<br />
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I was happy-ish before Gauri came along, but it was a low-level contentment, if you will, where I was always looking forward to the next thing to make me happy: a holiday, a book, a job, a date, the baby itself (a 4-year long wait, that); I was very rarely perfectly happy, perfectly joyous in that moment. I think there may have been a few instances where I came close: there was one, I remember, when I was out in Acadia National Park. Existential joy at its purest.<br />
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After Gauri? The moments come thick and fast. I still grumble about many things, I am still looking forward to a great many little things (getting out of India, mostly), but there are so many moments that are so perfectly joyous that they are hard to bear. Then there are moments of perfect quiet peace and contentment.<br />
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Very few things can bring this sort of joy. Very few things make us stop searching for the next best thing and let us simply bask in a particular moment. I am glad this man got to experience that, though it is such a tragedy he died just a few months short of his baby's first birthday. I do not know him, but I am so saddened by the fact that he had so little time. For all of you out there in the infertility trenches, know that the prize you are fighting for is the best one indeed. It is worth the pain of battle.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57644621261583551.post-32739095279475996862015-03-06T13:21:00.001+05:302015-03-06T16:41:38.594+05:30Parenting Fails and Triumphs<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
As a new parent, I started down this road with SUCH good intentions. My baby would get no screen time. She would not be transfixed by electronics. She would be interested in exploring her surroundings. She would be involved in the world around her.<br />
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Well, two out of four is not bad, is it? </div>
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Turns out, ensuring that your kids do not fall down the rabbit hole of a deep and abiding fascination for electronics requires serious discipline from you, and whoever else is in the house. We failed, and badly.</div>
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My grandma watches incredibly awful regional language TV soaps. I watch Downton Abbey and Top Chef and Modern family. My dad channel surfs. All of us (barring my grandma) spend far too much time with our smartphones. I have tried to keep her out of the room while the TV is on, but the damage is done. Among her favorite objects are remote controls. She drags em around the house, points em at the TV, presses buttons, and gets super pissed when nothing relevant happens. Sometimes she stands in front of the TV, pressing buttons on a remote, waving her arms and screaming like a witch doctor, exhorting it to start. When it does start, sometimes she ignores it, but whenever there is a jingle or the opening number, she is transfixed and starts dancing to it (turns out this kid is pretty musical---she will dance to almost anything). When she sees my phone, she lets out a war hoop and dives for it. My laptop drives her ballistic. I usually deny her these objects, resulting in tantrums (already at 11 months!!), which mama is pretty good at ignoring at a deadpan manner, but other people can be PUTTY in the face of. Working on establishing rules for consistent reactions in a big family is a headache, I have to say. But the rewards make it totally worth it. </div>
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But with these things that have not worked out the way I intended, there are also things that have, some a bit more than I would have liked. This kid loves nature. She is out for maybe around 2 hours a day in our garden, not counting her long walk. She is observant and really pays attention to her surroundings. She loves to explore, take apart, and examine everything (she stands on tiptoe in front of desks and tries to pull all the contents down...joy). She eats (self-feeds) with no need for distraction, really tasting and enjoying food---part of that is her own nature (all her half-siblings are really good eaters) and the fact that she has never been troubled by reflux, which is the root of the problem for so many kids labelled "picky eaters." Nonetheless, I have to give quite a bit of credit to baby-led weaning. It really is a fantastic concept.<br />
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But overall, the triumphs have little to do with me, and quite a bit to do with the amazing support system I have. Usually, the fails have also little to do with the parents (but in some cases, they do, as is so here). And I am NOT going to beat myself up about it, and you cannot either, even if some of you may want to. "Perfection" in parents is unrealistic, unachievable, and overrated, is it not? We just have to do the best we can under the circumstances, while not being too hard on ourselves or on the kids.</div>
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I just have to work on keeping her love for electronics under reasonable control, and making sure her interests remain diverse. Easy peasy, right? </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57644621261583551.post-19402888463339519942015-02-26T22:16:00.001+05:302015-02-27T21:29:32.127+05:30Post up on the other blog:<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
A potentially interesting read if you are Indian (or Russian, ha):<br />
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<a href="https://decodingscience.wordpress.com/2015/02/26/how-healthy-are-you/">https://decodingscience.wordpress.com/2015/02/26/how-healthy-are-you/</a><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57644621261583551.post-3444783508619596462015-02-18T19:52:00.000+05:302015-02-18T20:00:41.122+05:30Ten months!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It is a short time really, but it feels like ALL my life. I cannot imagine a world without this child in it anymore.<br />
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She is changing so fast. The beginnings of conversation are here: I was so freaking excited when, in the middle of the night, she pointed to her bottle and wailed "bo to!" It is an indescribable feeling when you know they are getting closer to the point where they can actually TELL you what they want. It is also interesting to see them try to discover how to use their tongue and vocal cords to actually form words: last night, she appeared to be struggling to form the word "goodnight," (she was clutching "Goodnight Moon") and she went "gGGG" and something unintelligible after that, but this gives you a real appreciation of how difficult learning to talk is.</div>
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With eating as well, there have been huge strides. She hated her high chair at first. Screamed like Torquemada himself had strapped her in and was starting up his routine. I used to wring my hands, because trying to teach a child to self-feed while not using a high chair is a daunting and super messy prospect. So I girded my loins and began a long (and thoughtful) campaign to get her to accept the detested high chair, and it finally worked. So that accomplished, I sat her down in it and gave her finger food ( a plate of torn-up dosa pieces) and OMG, she proceeded to feed herself! I have gone with <a href="http://www.babyledweaning.com/">baby-led weaning</a> from the start with respect to the food she ate, but had delayed self feeding (they tell you to start at 6-7 months), and was scared that she would get too used to being fed. Well, it is not a concern apparently, and her highness has had plenty of time to practice her pincer grip picking up random objects off the floor (have had to deal with explosive diarrhea in the middle of the night a couple of times now, joy).</div>
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Speaking of explosive diarrhea, I have a tip for all you beleaguered parents out there: Probiotics are supposed to help shorten the frequency, duration, and severity of gastrointestinal upsets, and this kid has been on a heavyweight probiotic (<i>Lactobacillus reuteri</i> in the Gerber Soothe Colic drops) since nearly day one. So when a bout of explosive and uncontrollable diarrhea began, I decided to try the effect of two probiotics as opposed to one, and I picked yeast (<i>Saccharomyces boulardii</i>, sold in the US as Florastor) as the second probiotic, and the infection came under control within 18 hours! So two probiotics are better than one, and it may be better to give two very disparate bugs (for example, yeast and a member of the Lactobacillus genus)</div>
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But yeah, she is self-feeding, and mommy dare not eat in front of her, because this kid waddles up to me like John Wayne, yanks food off my plate, swipes it on the floor, and when she is satisfied that it is dirty enough, shoves it in her mouth. She gave me the fright of my life when she did this with a very large piece of raw beetroot: I was terrified she would choke, but she proceeded to gum it very carefully for a very long time, and then swallowed. What I realized then is that we vastly underestimate the ability of a baby to know what to do with food. </div>
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But let me take a teeny tiny break from talking about my daughter to talking about myself. </div>
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I have been trying the work-from-home gig as a freelance editor for the past 4-5 months. I HATE IT. I hate that I do not often shower till the end of the day. I hate how low my productivity is. I hate the lack of structure, which is not helped by my total lack of discipline. The only (big) plus is I can take frequent breaks to spend time with Gauri or take care of her, but even that cannot be a long-term thing. What I have realized in this time is I do not at all have what is takes to be a SAHM or even a WFHM. I need to get out on a daily basis. Thankfully, we have a pretty good caretaker system at home, and my grandma is around to supervise. It <i>really</i> helps to have a family member around. </div>
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So I set out to look for shared office spaces (for entrepreneurs/freelancers), and I was pleasantly surprised: it appears to be a thing in both the US and India, and it appears to be a pretty fun setup (a dedicated desk seems to go for around $400/month in Austin, TX, or around 13000 INR/month in Mumbai, India). This seems like a great short-term solution till I return to the US...my going back has been delayed by 6-12 months past my estimations, much to my dismay, though the delay is a good thing for Gauri. Once I go back, I definitely want a full-time job that takes me back to science as opposed to freelance science editing. Anyway, starting next week, I start working from a shared office space as opposed to my couch. YAY, hello makeup. Hello, pretty clothes. Goodbye, detested jammies. Hello, meeting new people.</div>
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Good note to end on, huh? </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57644621261583551.post-78292215782125880992015-02-03T13:27:00.001+05:302015-02-03T13:45:06.682+05:30Resemblences<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
While a baby is a genetically a blend of two people together, the trait distribution can be complex: sometimes, the individual contributions from either biological parent are evident, and sometimes they are not. Sometimes, there appear to be no inherited traits at all.<br />
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If I look at Gauri and I together in a mirror today, I sometimes cannot see the resemblance (possibly because our coloring really differs), but then it seems to jump out in our eyes, the overall shape of our faces, and sometimes just something indefinable. But then, when you look at baby photos of me and baby photos of Gauri, the resemblance is much stronger.<br />
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But I digress. This child has taken definite facets from her maternal and paternal sides.<br />
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Her smile is mine. Her eyes are mine. Her eyelashes (score!) are mine. Her joy and enthusiasm for people are the same as mine as a child----I sadly became much more reserved later.<br />
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Her love for reading may have come from me; I was the consummate bookworm, and this kid LOVES book-time. Her ability to cry quickly may, sadly, be mine as well---even mildly strong emotion provokes tears in me: I just sniffled through the the end of "The Imitation Game," much to the amusement and disbelief of the people with me. Sigh...it would suck if this very disadvantageous trait afflicted yet another generation. In the plus column, she may be a very early talker like me, but the jury is still out on that one. <br />
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But, oh, the (possibly) paternal influences: Unlike me, this child is very physical. She crawled early at 6 months, stood up by herself at 6.5 months, is starting to walk unassisted now at 9.5 months: What amazes me is a lot of her half-siblings started to do all of these things at around exactly the same times. Her height and weight percentiles (very tall, rather light baby) match up almost spookily with that of a few of her female half-sibs. She is utterly fearless and is indefatigable. She may also turn out to be athletic and may be good with using her body: we showed her the correct way to dismount from a bed, and she picked it up immediately....my abilities to imitate or follow a described motion are actually sub-par, which is why I will always be a sucky athlete/dancer. Probably the best dissimilarity from me: this kid loves to eat. She loves food, all types of food (giant, giant score).<br />
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Can you delineate traits in your children? Would be fun to read about it---including the things they pick up as a result of nurture, not nature...sometimes that matters more: for example, Gauri's love for books. My parents read to me, and I am reading to her. Would the two of us have been the same if we had not been raised thus?</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57644621261583551.post-38586002713180506912015-01-13T15:07:00.002+05:302015-01-13T15:35:13.167+05:30The weathering of storms<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I have to admit, I have led a very charmed existence this first year, in that I have had tons of help in raising Gauri. I do not need to shower while having her perched in her rocker four feet away, the way I know many new moms have to do it, because there are always multiple somebodies available to take care of her. I can go out for adult meals when I want, though it is pretty darned rare. I can even take in a movie every now and then. I do not have to gobble down my food while keeping an eye on her.<br />
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And the best of all, as I weathered a monster storm of tooth eruption combined with her first infection (a relatively mild respiratory tract infection that felled everybody in our family) combined with a maid with very poor decision making skills who came to work with conjunctivitis and promptly gave it to her, I had tons of help.</div>
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As she woke up screaming 4 times a night because she could not breathe because her nose was blocked, or when she coughed so hard she threw up, I had help. </div>
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My dad and my mom (especially my dad) have been my rocks through this. My dad would insist on staying up through the night to help me with her, so I could get sleep. The night that I weathered the worst of the infection myself, my brothers took care of her so I could get sleep.</div>
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I would never dream of talking about all this because I know how rare this setup and such help is, but I am now, because in about 7-8 months time, I probably will leave it all behind to move to the US with Gauri by myself, and take care of her by myself. Most things I am okay with, but what scares me, as it should, is dealing with illness alone. People may think I am actually nuts to leave this behind to manage by myself, but I have my reasons.</div>
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Does year 2 get easier than year 1? I hope so, though I know each time comes with its own issues.</div>
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But I am so relieved: she has been out of sorts for two whole weeks, and it was such bliss to see my happy baby back again, as opposed to one that burst into tears once an hour. </div>
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Action also needs to be initiated on the discipline front. This is a child surrounded by too many people who act like she is the sun, moon, and the stars. Plus she is a naturally strong willed child with signs of a temper she has come by honestly. While there is no overt indulging happening, such children possibly become subliminally more aware of the power they wield, and like little dictators, take shameless advantage. In that way, our move to America, while traumatic, may be good in a way. All in all, I'm really going to have to bring my A-game in this department. Wish me luck, people. I have managed the first crucial bit: she is utterly connected to and trusts me and the grandparents. The next part is using this trust and connection for discipline, and I *ulp* when I think of that.<br />
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On the progress front, unintelligible, too cute words are coming out constantly from that mouth, and it is funny to see myself follow her around, ears straining, trying to figure out if her first word is actually nestled within streams of baby babble. Atto Atto toi toi toi whaaaaaaaaa? Fun times, but also a bit poignant because each phase is gone before you know it, never to repeat again, unless you plan to have many kids, which I do not.<br />
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Btw, a blogpost is up on the science blog: it is about Omega 3 fatty acids and that holy grail of topics, baby sleep. <a href="https://decodingscience.wordpress.com/2015/01/12/dha-and-infant-sleep/">Here</a> is the link.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57644621261583551.post-2318119149421081742014-12-20T17:42:00.002+05:302015-01-09T17:13:42.814+05:30Keeping up with baby: a how-to post<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Gauri turned 8 months old a few days ago, and boy, is she keeping us busy. Had I been taking care of her alone by myself in the US, even with a nanny/au-pair for help, both the nanny and I would have needed a nice padded cell within a few days, I think.<br />
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Oh, I exaggerate. But seriously, this child has energy. If adults could channel even a fraction of baby energy, we could move mountains. This little monkey needs to be on the move constantly. Crawling, standing up and just expecting the person behind her to catch her as she eventually loses balance, opening cupboards, investigating things, mouthing everything in sight, climbing (she fearlessly would climb up an entire floor, while whoever was trailing behind would live in fear that she would slip and we would fail to catch her), investigating everything, and just <i><b>moving</b></i>. All day long. She actually fell behind on the weight curve despite drinking copious amounts of formula and being on solids, just because every calorie was directed towards movement.<br />
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In all this, I have had to be super creative just to find things for her to do that will keep her sitting relatively still for short periods of time---a dire need as the relatively baby-safe areas in my house are limited as hell, and her caretakers are <i>tired.</i><br />
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Coming up with a list here as to what has worked for me (other than toys like activity tables, which has been a big hit):<br />
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<b>Books:</b> Around the start of her 7th month, she actually started paying attention to me reading to her, and it is a fantastic way to get her to stay still. I've done a ton of research on baby books now (the Facebook group comes in very handy), and I'm putting up a list of what works, and what failed:<br />
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What works:<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>The Usborne series of Touch-and-feel books (I've tried and can vouch for "That's not my Panda/Monkey/Dinosaur." Thumbs down for "That's not my Tiger/Lion"----not their best efforts).</li>
<li>Margaret Wise Brown's Goodnight Moon (I am really surprised how much she loves this one--cannot figure out the mysterious alchemy that makes it work)</li>
<li>Sandra Boyton's Moo Ba La La La (Huge hit, and here I can see the appeal)</li>
<li>Eric Carle's The Very Hungry Caterpillar (What makes this book work is the holes in it..she loses interest the minute the pages with the holes punched in are done)</li>
<li>Bill Martin Jr.'s Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? (Huge hit)</li>
<li>Nina Laden's Peek-a-Who (expresses moderate interest in this---I think the mirror in the end saves it)</li>
<li>Herve Tullet's The Game Of Finger Worms (You have to draw faces on your fingers and stick them in the holes---kind of fun for everybody involved)</li>
<li>Karen Katz's Where Is Baby's Belly Button? (Huge hit, and I love how well executed this lift-a-flap book is) </li>
<li>Bernadette Rossetti Shustak's I Love You Through and Through (expresses moderate interest in this, but I do like the illustrations, they are really nicely done).</li>
</ul>
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Failed to/has not yet worked:</div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>FAIL: Sandra Boyton's That's not my Hippopotamus (she would just wander off after looking at the first page)</li>
<li>FAIL: Bill Martin Jr.'s Chicka Chicka Boom Boom: at 9 months, she shows no interest in this one.</li>
<li>FAIL: Dr. Seuss's One Fish, Two Fish, Three, Four, Five Fish (Dr. Seuss Nursery Collection)--Boring! Not impressed at all. </li>
<li>Too young for: Mr Tiger Goes Wild (This is a Boston Globe-Horn Book Award winner, and is awesome. Highly recommend)</li>
<li>Too young for: Where the Wild things are (Caldecott medal winner, I loved this---waiting for her to get old enough to get it).</li>
</ul>
<b>Fridge Magnets! </b>This was discovered quite by chance, that this child is endlessly fascinated by the few paltry fridge magnets we possessed. Since our kitchen is distinctly NOT child-friendly, I will be investing in a magnetic board and a few magnetic toy sets (so much fun looking on Amazon---if anybody wants recommendations and does not feel up to research, let me know).<br />
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<b>Photos: </b>Also discovered quite by chance that this child loves pictures of us, and particularly pictures of other babies. I'm having collages made of family pictures, and will also come up with photo books, and the thing I am the most excited about is a giant collage I am having made of all her half-siblings (14 in all) and herself, and tell her who they are. <b> </b><br />
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<b>Busy Boards: </b>Considering something like <a href="https://www.pinterest.com/pin/146859637819760146/">this</a>, as this baby loves hinges and door knobs and things that slide.<br />
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All in all, it is amazing how excited *I* get over these little things. If anybody has more ideas, please share!</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57644621261583551.post-15526975929009659922014-11-14T15:38:00.000+05:302014-11-14T16:04:51.107+05:30Turbulent joy<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I had a visitor a few days ago. This person's visit resurrected a few memories: she was my house guest at the time I had my first IUI (in total secret). I had to drop her off at 7 am on a Saturday to a conference an hour away, and drive back pell-mell to be on time for my IUI appointment. I vividly remembered all the impatience and the excitement of that time. She left midway through the agonizing two-week wait, and I remember my huge relief that I could then savor the anticipation out in the open. I remembered the surreal and utterly joyous moment I got that positive test, and the utter anticipation in the 2.5 months that followed, and finally, the crushing realization that it was all going to come to nothing.<br />
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Four years later, as I watched this visitor play with Gauri, my thought process shifted. It was not for nothing. Each painful step of the way was a step in the journey that was bringing me to this baby, each step helped lay the foundation to help me figure out what I had to do to make her come into being. That line of thought dispatched that sad sense of futility. Nonetheless, even in my wildest happy dreams, I could not have envisioned the miracle that is this child.</div>
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I had always wondered if the souls of the babies I have lost would return to me one day. Here is a line of thinking that will never culminate in any answers, and I guess its value is in whatever comfort we can draw from it. It was probably my second loss and my second baby that lingered with me the most strongly: I had a nickname for her: Turbulence, because boy, did she make her presence felt.</div>
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Gauri has that same quality. She LOVES people. Loves, loves loves them. Loves talking to them, smiling at them, playing with them, and oh, that curiosity about the world. It is the most beautiful thing to see. She started crawling rather early (6 months) and has such ambition and energy. She immediately wanted to pull up to stand, even before she could sit steadily, and figured out how two weeks later. She now yanks herself up using furniture, determinedly tries to open cupboards (the ones by her play area stick, thank god), crawls all over the place, and shows a decided interest in climbing stairs, and nibbling at my slippers, and attacking my cell phone, and oh, the object of maximum fascination, my laptop. Sigh. She has to be shadowed constantly, with a hand at the ready to catch her. I've forbidden people from grabbing her hands and encouraging her to walk towards them, because I want her to crawl as long as possible. </div>
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We went with something called baby-led weaning (without meaning to), which skips purees totally. This kid can eats mashed-up food versions of grown-up food. She gnaws on whole pieces of fruit and eats <i>chapattis</i> confidently. At seven months, she now wants to self-feed. She has never gagged, to my astonishment. She lunges towards food, attacking our plate if we eat in front of her, and if she sees us eating or drinking, her mouth moves in anticipation. The most cruel thing to do is deny her grown-up food and give her a boring bottle of formula instead. I am really, really looking forward to almost every culinary restriction being lifted when she turns one. </div>
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In short, this child is such a force of nature. I look at her and marvel at her, and my mom tells me that all babies are like this...that curiosity, that joy. They probably are, but I've never spent real time with any other baby before, so it would be hard for me to fathom. My brothers and cousins better get cracking reproducing, so all of us get to experience this joy again. I could have never imagined that anything will light up a household like this.<br />
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I post so rarely, and I have work stuff and immigration stuff and life decision stuff to talk about too, but sigh, who wants to go there when you could be talking about babies throwing food on the floor? Nonetheless, I will say that freelance scientific editing is a good fit at this point in my life. I am slowly starting to accept more work, and I'm on the prowl for companies that will pay the most. While it is rather tempting to not work at all, I do have nest eggs to build up, in preparation for their rapid depletion for when I return to the US. Sigh. </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57644621261583551.post-40809689256739662072014-10-17T21:05:00.001+05:302014-10-18T15:40:43.948+05:30Rushing in where angels fear to tread (my two cents on sleep training)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-St9f2-5-X-Y/VEE07JvsGtI/AAAAAAAAAdE/hUliDTuPgwo/s1600/the_battle_over-460x307.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-St9f2-5-X-Y/VEE07JvsGtI/AAAAAAAAAdE/hUliDTuPgwo/s1600/the_battle_over-460x307.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I am a member of a secret Facebook mommy group (the sort where you only join when a member adds you) that most consists of working Indian mothers living abroad, and a few in India as well, and some non-Indian moms as well. I cannot put my finger on why this particular group is so useful, but I think it is just the sheer density of very smart, very resourceful women on there: <i>I've</i> learnt many things on there, and I'm usually the one dispensing information like candy, whether people want it or not.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">So, in this very,very useful and mostly positive group, I was taken aback to see a spate of articles making sleep training (specifically, CIO) sound like child abuse (there was one rather ridiculous one about a letter written by a baby undergoing sleep training, not going to share the link). Since there seemed to be almost a 50-50 split between moms who sleep-train and moms who stay far away from it, the battles were fierce, with both sides making preposterous claims about the results of both parenting styles. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Having spent a few of my initial sleepless nights aimlessly browsing what the "experts" say out of sheer curiosity (what I did in the end was totally based on instinct), I was familiar with the arguments made by both sides, and I decided to offer my own commentary on what they said, to try to offer some rational perspective that took a hard look at the </span>arguments<span style="font-family: inherit;"> offered by both sides</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">My commentary was pretty well received and nobody came after me with pitchforks, and I figured since I spent so much time on it, it should be out here as well:</span><br />
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li style="color: #141823; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">F</span><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">irst, there is no such thing as a baby expert or a sleep training expert, IMO. People claim to be, but they are really just people who make stuff up as they go along, and want to produce enough talking points to fill a book. Anybody who claims they are “baby experts” are charlatans IMO. Trying to say that sleep training produces “better behaved, better-adjusted” children is part of the charlatan-speak. Finally, sleep is developmental, not behavioral: this basically means your baby’s brain needs to develop and mature till the point arrives that he/she can sleep 6+ hour stretches.</span></span></li>
<li style="color: #141823; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Why did sleep training come about? When did parenting go from an instinctive, intuitive thing that never involved ignoring your baby’s cues to a training and schedule-driven process? It did not come about as a “eureka” process to improve baby behavior. It came about to compensate for the fact that people no longer parent in an extended family. And that, the stopping of parenting in an extended family, IMO, is the true tragedy. There is now a very real need to reduce the burden of parenting, because parenting went from something the entire extended family did to something two individuals or even one individual had to deal with alone. So yes, some people need to sleep train just to keep going. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #141823;"><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">The “experts” on the other side who talk about sleep training resulting in disassociated, disconnected individuals more often use parents who ignore their baby’s cues <i>constantly</i> as examples. I've seen articles </span></span><span style="color: #141823;"><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">talking</span></span><span style="color: #141823;"><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"> about how sleep training produces disconnected children reference orphanages in </span><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Romania</span><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">, which is just ridiculous. People who sleep train may practice dissociative parenting (where you do not respond to your baby’s cues) only at bedtime. </span><u><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">The rest of the time, most sleep-training parents here WILL respond to their child’s cues, and the children do come to trust </span><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">their</span><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"> parents and bond with them through this </span><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">associative</span><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"> parenting</span></u></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #141823;"><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">On the flip side, let us also talk about that <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21945361">new study</a></span></span><span style="color: #141823;"><a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21945361" style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"> </a><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">which showed that babies w</span><a href="http://www.peacefulparent.com/sleep-training-research-highlights-the-myth-of-self-soothing/" style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">ere stressed (high levels of cortisol) even when they were no longer crying and had seemingly adjusted well to the sleep training</a><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">. This is a black and white, no-frills point that shows very clearly that what is going on the surface is no indicator of what is happening inside. I read that study, and I wanted to know how long that cortisol elevation lasted. Was it still there a month into sleep training? Six months? Cortisol can mess with neuronal growth, so this finding is not good. However, what is the true impact of this? I refuse to </span><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">believe</span><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"> that sleep </span><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">training</span><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"> alone can produce mal-adjusted individuals. Can seemingly well-adjusted, successful, happy individuals be mildly affected by periods of stress during their babyhood? It is possible. Can you measure how much they have been affected? No. How much more healthier would they have been if they had not been sleep trained? Would they be more trusting or have had better relationships with their parents had they not been sleep trained? No one can tell. It is not possible to measure or extrapolate. It is possible sleep training has some mild to moderate psychological effect, depending on too many factors to enumerate, including the parenting style used the rest of the time, but it is impossible to figure out. However, I find it difficult that this prolonged elevation of cortisol at sleeptime could be too </span><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">deleterious</span><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">. It is also </span></span><span style="color: #141823;"><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">important</span></span><span style="color: #141823;"><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"> to consider the effect of a </span><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">perennially</span><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"> </span><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">stressed</span><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"> parent, and the effect they could have on the child if they are </span><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">stretched</span><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"> too thin. All of life is a balance, after all </span></span></span></li>
<li style="color: #141823; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Finally, to bust some myths about what may happen if you do not sleep train: one can get a baby who sleeps through the night early without sleep training. Cosleeping and responding to your babies cues does not automatically spell misery for the parent who chooses it, or result in a maladjusted, cranky, child who cannot sleep at all. I cosleep with Gauri and respond to all her cues. She usually sleeps through the night (at 5-6 months of age). She does not spend all night kicking me (saw this a lot in the case against cosleeping). She chooses her own schedule (no matter what I tried, she goes to sleep around 11:30 and wakes up at around 10 now, with an awakening at around 7:30 am for a feed). Rocking her to sleep is a waste of my time. After a bath+massage, I tuck myself in bed with her and just wait for the point that her own brain signals that it is time to sleep (usually 11:30 pm). We actually have some fun interacting in this time, where she crawls around, babbles at me, wails occasionally, wants to play, etc. It is not purgatory for me, and I do not begrudge her the time I have to spend doing it. <b>Importantly, I know that the method I use to get her to sleep will keep evolving as she grows older, because she is also evolving.</b> Finally, despite the lack of sleep training, and lack of scheduling of naps, she is not cranky during the day and naps adequately, if not at the same time every day. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #141823;"><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">What I am trying to say is you can raise a happy well-adjusted child no matter what you practice. Which method you choose depends on multiple factors. Sleep training may not be suitable for high-needs babies, babies who get very upset when their needs are ignored (the ones who cry for a long time/ throw up, etc), or very young babies (</span></span><span style="color: #141823;"><span style="line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">sleep training a two-month old is not advised), because the risk that it can be detrimental is much higher in all these cases. IMO, it should not be chosen to improve behavior or because of the mistaken belief that it results in better-adjusted children, but it can be used safely in many cases when parental exhaustion is a problem, and many children may be fine with it.</span></span></span></li>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I hope this is actually useful to somebody, and does not put anybody's back up. I cosleep and attachment parent, and the results are amazing for me, but I am also lucky in that I have a child whose brain maturation v<i>is a vis</i> sleep has been seemingly rapid. Even if this was not so, I am also lucky in that I would have had help if she continued to keep waking up at night. Nonetheless, a very important take-home point I want to drive home is that every child will differ in when they acquire the ability to sleep through the night and self soothe, and that cannot be rushed, whether you <a href="http://nurshable.com/2012/07/19/the-wio-wait-it-out-method-of-sleep-training/">wait it out</a> or <a href="http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-training-cry-it-out-methods_1497112.bc">cry it out</a>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Peace. </span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57644621261583551.post-91600021914162623992014-10-09T15:06:00.001+05:302015-09-02T19:03:32.367+05:30The goat milk formula recipe<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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As many of you know, Gauri was born via surrogacy and hence did not have access to breast milk (see my post on why I decided <a href="http://aboutplanb.blogspot.in/2013/12/on-induced-lactation.html">against induced lactation</a>).<br />
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Much before her birth, I started researching my formula choices, and was soon struck dumb at the awful, awful choices the infant formula industry has made (see <a href="http://foodbabe.com/2013/05/28/how-to-find-the-safest-organic-infant-formula/">here</a> and <a href="http://aboutplanb.blogspot.in/2013/12/first-excursion-into-parenthood-related.html">here</a> as to why). So after much research, I decided to go with a homemade goat milk formula, to avoid the unnecessary additives, get a healthy source of sugar (lactose) and fats (extra virgin coconut oil), and go with the animal milk source that is kindest to the gut and is the most easily digested (this turns out to be goat milk). See <a href="http://www.parenting.com/article/ask-dr-sears-advantages-of-goats-milk">here</a>, <a href="http://www.prevention.com/which-healthier-goat-milk-vs-cow-milk">here</a>, and <a href="https://www.google.co.in/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=goat+milk+vs+cow+milk+alive">here</a> to understand the advantages goat milk presents over cow milk.<br />
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This post is to clarify the formula I have used, and explain the reasoning behind its formulation.</div>
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I should add, immediately after birth, my baby was put on a cow milk formula, as per hospital rules. She did fairly well on this formula, but was splotchy (red splotches on her face and body, and interestingly, her upper lip would be very bright red when she was drinking), was mildly constipated, and had a diaper rash. All three issues disappeared after she was switched to this formula, suggesting that she was mildly intolerant towards cow milk protein, and her growth has been nothing short of phenomenal. </div>
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<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="MsoNormalTable" style="border-collapse: collapse; margin-left: 4.65pt; mso-padding-alt: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-yfti-tbllook: 1184; width: 596px;">
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<td nowrap="" style="border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: 15.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 324.75pt;" valign="bottom" width="433"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: red; font-size: 20.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"> GOAT MILK FORMULA </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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per 8 oz<o:p></o:p></div>
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per 32 oz<o:p></o:p></div>
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Goat milk powder (scoops) <b>(Myenberg whole goat milk powder)</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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1<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td nowrap="" style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 15.0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-right-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 44.4pt;" valign="bottom" width="59"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
4<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr style="height: 15.0pt; mso-yfti-irow: 2;">
<td nowrap="" style="border-top: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: 15.0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-right-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 324.75pt;" valign="bottom" width="433"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Organic Lactose (teaspoons; tsp) (<b>NOW foods</b>)<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td nowrap="" style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 15.0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-right-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 77.85pt;" valign="bottom" width="104"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
2.232<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td nowrap="" style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 15.0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-right-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 44.4pt;" valign="bottom" width="59"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
9<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr style="height: 15.0pt; mso-yfti-irow: 3;">
<td nowrap="" style="border-top: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: 15.0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-right-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 324.75pt;" valign="bottom" width="433"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Organic Unrefined Safflower oil (tsp) (<b>Eden Organics</b>)<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td nowrap="" style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 15.0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-right-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 77.85pt;" valign="bottom" width="104"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
0.5<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td nowrap="" style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 15.0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-right-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 44.4pt;" valign="bottom" width="59"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
2<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr style="height: 15.0pt; mso-yfti-irow: 4;">
<td nowrap="" style="border-top: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: 15.0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-right-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 324.75pt;" valign="bottom" width="433"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Organic Extra Virgin Coconut oil (tsp) (<b>Artisana</b>)<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td nowrap="" style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 15.0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-right-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 77.85pt;" valign="bottom" width="104"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
0.5<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td nowrap="" style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 15.0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-right-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 44.4pt;" valign="bottom" width="59"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
2<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr style="height: 15.0pt; mso-yfti-irow: 5;">
<td nowrap="" style="border-top: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: 15.0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-right-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 324.75pt;" valign="bottom" width="433"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Organic Unsulphered Blackstrap molasses (Tsp) (different amounts are for 0-3 mo, 3-6 mo, 6-9 mo, and 9-12 mo). <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td nowrap="" style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 15.0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-right-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 77.85pt;" valign="bottom" width="104"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
0/0.125/0.25/0.5 <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td nowrap="" style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 15.0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-right-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 44.4pt;" valign="bottom" width="59"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
0/0.5/1/2<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr style="height: 15.0pt; mso-yfti-irow: 6;">
<td colspan="3" nowrap="" style="border-top: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: 15.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 447.0pt;" valign="bottom" width="596"><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<b>Additives (amount given
per day, added to 32 oz formula for convenience; exception, probiotic)<o:p></o:p></b></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr style="height: 15.0pt; mso-yfti-irow: 7;">
<td nowrap="" style="border-top: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: 15.0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-right-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 324.75pt;" valign="bottom" width="433"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Probiotic<i> Lactobacillus reuteri</i> (<b>BioGaia Protectis or Gerber Soothe Colic Drops</b>) <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td colspan="2" nowrap="" style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 15.0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-right-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 122.25pt;" valign="bottom" width="163"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
5 drops --- add directly before feeding.<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr style="height: 15.0pt; mso-yfti-irow: 8;">
<td nowrap="" style="border-top: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: 15.0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-right-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 324.75pt;" valign="bottom" width="433"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Baby's DHA (<b>Nordic Naturals</b>)<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td colspan="2" nowrap="" style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 15.0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-right-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 122.25pt;" valign="bottom" width="163"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
see package insert <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr style="height: 15.0pt; mso-yfti-irow: 9;">
<td nowrap="" style="border-top: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: 15.0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-right-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 324.75pt;" valign="bottom" width="433"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Vitamin D (<b>Carlson's or Super D drops</b>)<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td colspan="2" nowrap="" style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 15.0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-right-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 122.25pt;" valign="bottom" width="163"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
1 drop (400 IU) <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr style="height: 15.0pt; mso-yfti-irow: 10;">
<td nowrap="" style="border-top: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: 15.0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-right-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 324.75pt;" valign="bottom" width="433"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Acerola Cherry Extract to supply vitamin C (<b>Madre Labs</b>)<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td nowrap="" style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 15.0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-right-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 77.85pt;" valign="bottom" width="104"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
0-125-0.250 tsp <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td nowrap="" style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 15.0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-right-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 44.4pt;" valign="bottom" width="59"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr style="height: 15.0pt; mso-yfti-irow: 11;">
<td colspan="3" nowrap="" style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-right: solid black 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 15.0pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-right-alt: solid black .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 447.0pt;" valign="bottom" width="596"><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
</div>
</td></tr>
<tr style="height: 15.0pt; mso-yfti-irow: 12; mso-yfti-lastrow: yes;"><td nowrap="" style="border-top: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: 15.0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-right-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 324.75pt;" valign="bottom" width="433"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Vitamin B-12 (<b>methycobalamin; Douglas Labs</b>)<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td nowrap="" style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 15.0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-right-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 77.85pt;" valign="bottom" width="104"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
2 drops (2 mcg)<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td nowrap="" style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 15.0pt; mso-border-bottom-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-right-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 44.4pt;" valign="bottom" width="59"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>This formula base is very similar to the one provided by <a href="http://www.mtcapra.com/discover-how-this-homemade-goat-milk-infant-formula-changed-my-daughters-life/">Joe Stout at Mt. Capra</a> (major, major credit for coming up with it), but differs with the supplements used (the BioGaia probiotic, which is nothing short of miraculous in many cases,<a href="http://decodingscience.wordpress.com/2014/06/14/arming-your-babys-fledgling-immune-system/"> and has been extensively studied and tested in infants and children</a>, and boosts immunity), and DHA, which is supplied by breast milk. I use a natural fish cold liver oil source that has been tested for PCBs and heavy metals, and since less is usually more, I use half the amount the company (Nordic Naturals) recommends. This addition is not required if you are doing a combination of breast feeding and formula feeding.</li>
<li>Another important difference is that I have not used the multivitamin in the Mt. Capra formula, because I dislike the formulation due to the use of preservatives such as sodium benzoate in a formulation containing vitamin C (together, <a href="http://www.webmd.com/diet/features/the-truth-about-seven-common-food-additives?page=3">they form benzene, which is carcinogenic</a>), and generally prefer natural food-derived vitamins to their synthetically produced counterparts.</li>
<li>Lactose intolerance <a href="http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/human_evolution/2012/10/evolution_of_lactose_tolerance_why_do_humans_keep_drinking_milk.html">is extremely rare during infancy</a>,
and often, intolerance to cow milk protein is confused as lactose intolerance,
resulting in the turning to other less healthy sugar sources in formula such as
maltodextrin or rice syrup or corn solids. While the Mt. Capra formula suggests many alternatives (including lactose) for the sugar, I cannot
endorse the the use of brown rice syrup (which raises arsenic contamination concerns) or turbinado sugar, and strongly recommend that only lactose be used, given its many
health-promoting effects (improves iron absorption, helps in the setup of a healthy gut flora, which is truly crucial).</li>
<li>Goat milk is significantly low in folic acid and Vitamin
B-12. Myenberg Goat milk is already folate fortified. I have added Vitamin B-12
back in the formula, as methylcobalamin, for cyanocobalamin. Note that while the Vitamin B-12 RDA is 0.5 mcg/day, I am adding back 2 mcg/day, as I discovered that sticking with the RDA left my baby with low levels (this is why I strongly emphasize a blood test).</li>
<li>The formula takes into account that other B vitamins,
nucleotides, etc. are supplied via goat milk. While the stability of nucleotides following heat processing is unknown, B-vitamins are unlikely to be very
affected by pasteurization (exceptions, Vitamin B-2; source http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22054181). B Vitamins are also supplied via blackstrap molasses.</li>
<li>Vitamin D is partially supplied via the goat milk (it is
vitamin D-fortified), but if your baby does not get sun on a daily basis, this
may be insufficient. The amount of vitamin D required to avoid deficiency is
very unclear as well as controversial, and many sources suggest that 400 IU/day
may be insufficient. I hence add an additional 400-800 IU/day, and I plan to
test blood levels at the one-year point and adjust accordingly.</li>
<li>Vitamin E is low in goat milk, but its requirements are
partially fulfilled via the Vitamin D drops (20% of the RDA per drop).</li>
<li>Vitamin A requirements are met via goat milk (fairly decent
source) as well as the cod liver oil (Nordic Naturals DHA). Hence,
supplementing this formula with a multi-vitamin may result in the exceeding of
the Vitamin A RDA.</li>
<li>Vitamin C is low in goat milk; hence the inclusion of a
small amount of Acerola cherry extract. This also facilitates the absorption of
the iron supplied via blackstrap molasses. Note that Vitamin C is heat labile
(destroyed over 70°C), so make sure to cool the water sufficiently before
adding, and make sure not to overheat bottles during warming.</li>
<li>Iron requirements: The 3 different concentrations for the blackstrap molasses ingredient are based on diffing iron requirements for different ages. Goat milk is far better at <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11949871">facilitatingiron absorption than cow milk</a>, but is most likely inferior to breast milk (has not been studied).The three
different formula recipes for different ages differ only in the amount of
blackstrap molasses. Now, blackstrap molasses supplies 3.5 mg iron per
tablespoon (15 mL), so the formula is designed to deliver 0.58 mg iron per day between 3-6 months, and
1.166 mg per day between 6-9 months, and 2.33 mg/day from 9 months
onwards. The remainder of iron
requirements should be made up via solids or supplements. A fingerprick for
hemoglobin testing at 9 months is recommended. If the formula is used between
birth and three months, no blackstrap molasses is added.</li>
<li><b><u><span style="color: red;">I STRONGLY recommend a blood test for Vitamin D, vitamin B-12, and iron at 9 months - 1 year, and adjusting the levels accordingly, if required. You can ask for this at the routine well baby check that is recommended around the one-year mark.</span></u></b></li>
<li><b>If you wish to
supplement with a multivitamin (I do not like multivitamin formulations, see the first bullet point), then
the only additives should be DHA and the BioGaia probiotic.</b></li>
<li><b>After 1 year, full
strength goat milk may be given with no additions of lactose and safflower oil,
but I recommend continuing with a small amount of the coconut oil (0.5 tsp per
day), the probiotic, DHA, and Vitamin D. Other vitamins can be acquired via a
healthy and balanced diet. </b></li>
<li>Please see here for how certain components of this formula <a href="https://decodingscience.wordpress.com/2015/06/19/shoring-your-immunity-a-multipronged-approach/">(Vitamin D, the BioGaia probiotic, extra virgin coconut oil), along with a few others</a> are useful <b>in strengthening immune defenses.</b></li>
</ul>
<div>
<b>INGREDIENTS & OTHER ITEMS REQUIRED:</b></div>
<div>
<b><br /></b></div>
<div>
<b>Formula Base</b></div>
<div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><a href="http://amzn.to/1LHfKiK">Myenberg Goat Milk Powder</a></li>
<li><a href="http://amzn.to/1LHg2py">Organic Lactose</a></li>
<li><a href="http://amzn.to/1N6G3SA">Organic Virgin Coconut Oil</a></li>
<li><a href="http://amzn.to/1N6GhJm">Organic Safflower oil</a></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>Minerals, Probiotics, </b><b>Vitamins, and others </b></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><a href="http://amzn.to/1JunGRa">Organic Unsulphered Blackstrap Molasses</a> (supplies iron, other minerals and B-vitamins)</li>
<li><a href="http://amzn.to/1LHhEzK">Probiotic BioGaia (Version bought out by Gerber)</a></li>
<li><a href="http://amzn.to/1N6HT5U">Vitamin B-12</a></li>
<li><a href="http://amzn.to/1LHi3Ck">Vitamin D</a></li>
<li><a href="http://amzn.to/1N6ImVG">Vitamin C</a> (cheaper alternatives also available, I like the bioavailable nature of this one)</li>
<li><a href="http://amzn.to/1N6Ia8U">BABY DHA</a></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
<b>Other requirements</b></div>
<div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><a href="http://amzn.to/1N6IF2E">Pyrex measuring cup</a></li>
<li><a href="http://amzn.to/1JupmdF">Measuring spoons</a></li>
<li><a href="http://amzn.to/1N6IV1P">Sterilizer</a> (optional, if making formula for a young infant)</li>
<li><a href="http://amzn.to/1LHjNLN">Pura Kiki Stainless steel bottles</a> (HIGHLY recommended, try to get the unpainted ones because the paint does chip, especially for the pink ones; these will last you forever, you can also transition these to a straw bottle or a storage cup)</li>
<li><a href="http://amzn.to/1N6JkkV">Milk Frother</a></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
<b><o:p> </o:p>How to make the formula:</b></div>
<ul>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: 115%;">Sterilize all bottles, cutlery, whisks, and
measuring spoons, and boil reverse-osmosis filtered
water (or whatever water of your choice) using an electric kettle (do this many hours before preparation, so it
cools enough).</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Add the goat milk powder and lactose, and oils and other ingredients (everything other than the probiotic) to the pyrex jar. Add 100 mL of warm to hot water and mix with a spoon till the powder is assimilated. Use the milk frother to break up clumps and mix evenly, then add water, and keep using the frother. M</span><span style="line-height: 115%;">ake it up to 32
oz and distribute into
bottles that are stored at 4°C.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: 115%;">Bottles stored in the fridge
should be used within 48 hours. </span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<i><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 15.3333330154419px;">Disclaimer: Breast milk is truly the best nutrition for the baby for as long as possible. If you wish to use this formula, I recommend that you do so only after a consultation with your pediatrician. Note that infants allergic to cow milk may also be allergic to goat milk, though <u>many</u> tolerate it well. Anphylaxis in response to milk proteins is extremely rare, but can occur.</span></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57644621261583551.post-69144584640576623552014-10-05T18:20:00.000+05:302015-02-05T16:15:18.899+05:30Six months!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
There are some time periods during a baby’s development that
have been termed <a href="http://www.thewonderweeks.com/">wonder weeks</a>, because that is when giant leaps in development
occur. It seems like Gauri’s fifth month has been one continuous wonder week,
all in all.<br />
<div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Around the start of this month, her previously erratic sleep
patterns started gaining some regularity: she usually falls asleep at 11:30 pm
(no, it is not possible to put her to bed earlier: she wakes up every 3 hours
if we try this at 9 pm) and wakes up at 7:30 am. I went, YAY. Before, if she would wake up by herself at
say, 4:30 am she would usually need to feed to settle back to sleep….now she
wakes up and often puts herself back to sleep, if she does not wake up all the
way. YAYYYY! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This kid (and interestingly, some of her half siblings too) hate being carried
on laps, but still she would normally go to sleep after drinking a bottle on my
lap. So my jaw dropped the first time she rolled herself off my lap and went to
sleep by herself on the bed! She has been doing that intermittently since….serious
leaps in independence! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This child is also super social. She loves people, and
cannot get enough of them. She smiles. She squeals. She converses. She is also
sensitive. One day, my grandpa’s physiotherapist was home and started talking
to her. This girl smiled and babbled. Then the physiotherapist said bye and
went away to work with my granddad, and her face fell, the chin started
quivering, and she burst into tears. Two days ago, my mother was mock scolding
her…this baby got that the inflection of her voice was “scoldy” and that chin
quiver began and she was wailing a minute later. The sensitive aspect to her
personality (especially during social interactions) makes me a little worried,
because there are so many ways that a young child can be hurt. As her mother, I want to protect her from it
all, but that is simply impossible. I guess life is all about building armor,
and I just have to make sure she gets the right tools. To that end, being in
India drives me nuts in so many ways, but it is wonderful for her. The entire
family as well as the extended family dotes on her, and a child like this
thrives on affection, and needs a ton of human interaction to keep her from being bored.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She has also had her first vacation, complete with
adventures such as the warming up of bottles in moving cars: Thank you Pura
Kiki, for coming up with a wonderfully designed, easily warmable bottle--- all
you need is refrigerated mixed up formula, an icebox, some really hot water and
a cup, and you can be on the road for 6 hours. So, thus armed, we really pushed
this poor child’s boundaries. We woke up and hit the road at the crack of dawn,
and then we stayed out a good part of the day, and she was surrounded by people
who just wanted to talk to her all day, and of course she talked and played and
had naps interrupted every time the car stopped and we got out. We did this two
days, and on the second day, she was cheerful and happy all day, and at night
came Armageddon. She got a rest yesterday and today we are back home now after
4 hours on the road, but it may take a while for her system to forgive us.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She is also in a major hurry to get past babyhood, it seems.
She is standing with assistance and manages to wriggle/roll/drag herself all
over the bed, but cannot crawl yet or sit up without assistance for long
periods, which makes her <i>really</i> mad. Once she crawls and can sit up, my job
becomes easier and harder. Currently her lack of total mobility is a source of
great frustration for her, and the only way I can alleviate said frustration is
by singing to her. I’m so totally her trained monkey. She is very selective
about which songs she likes, and gets mad at me if I change the lyrics, so I
have faithfully sung the Do Re Mi song only about 15 times a day every day for
the past 2 months. Joy. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the past week, there has been a massive leap in her
verbal skills. She is now “talking” in that she is saying the same sounds, one
of which that sounds like a recognizable word around 10 times a day…interestingly that one
is “amma,” which is the tamil word for mom.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Never a dull moment with this child!<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57644621261583551.post-61089365307331037472014-08-29T15:33:00.001+05:302014-11-18T14:27:03.502+05:30Theranos (fertility testing for 35$?!) <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I will always remember the day when my third missed miscarriage was discovered. My awesome friend M had come down from Philadelphia to NYC just to hold my hand through it. Soon after I started talking to her, I started crying while in the waiting room. I do not know if it was the memory of past trauma or intuition, but I was literally a blubbering mess while waiting for them to get me into ultrasound. When the loss was discovered, nothing really changed, because it felt like a part of me already knew I had lost that pregnancy even before I got confirmation. I was then completely numb.<br />
<br />
That was probably a good thing, because after that was done, they hustled me into a chair to get blood for the recurrent pregnancy loss panel. Usually, phlebotomists can stick me on the first try. On that day, it took them many tries, and each try was one that would have caused me no amount of distress on a regular day. It was the worst blood draw of my life, and I was luckily (or unluckily) too tuned out to care. They took 21 vials of blood, all which were sent off to different laboratories.<br />
<br />
Why am I recounting all this? Because blood draws can be painful. They take too much blood, mostly because all tests are not run by the same center. The response time is slow. There can be laboratory-to-laboratory variation. The amount charged is insane.<br />
<br />
Had that RPL panel not been covered by insurance, it would have cost me thousands of dollars.<br />
<br />
The key to changing the face of medicine is faster and more affordable diagnostic tests. People talk about this constantly, but nobody does anything about it.<br />
<br />
A few weeks ago, somebody "liked" a post by <i>A Mighty Girl</i>. I aimlessly clicked on it, and was soon electrified.<br />
<br />
Elizabeth Holmes dropped out of Stanford to start a blood diagnostics company that would literally change the face of how things were done.<br />
<br />
Asked why she wanted to start this company when she had not even finished college, she replied:<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: 'Miller Display Roman', georgia, serif; font-size: 20px; line-height: 30px;"><i><span style="color: orange;">"Because systems like this could completely revolutionize how effective health care is delivered. And this is what I want to do. I don’t want to make an incremental change in some technology in my life. I want to create a whole new technology, and one that is aimed at helping humanity at all levels regardless of geography or ethnicity or age or gender."</span></i></span><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Theranos has grown in leaps and bounds in the past 10 years. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
If this very gritty woman keeps forging on, she could very well accomplish what she set out to accomplish. </div>
<br />
How does this system work? Basically, many blood tests can be performed off just a few drops of blood, taken via a fingerprick.<br />
<br />
The analysis involves microfluidics, and this company is paranoid about guarding their technology, so nobody knows how it works. Nonetheless, it delivers results rapidly, and their integrated approach allows them to keep adding tests that can be run off their platform, and it is cheap.<br />
<br />
The normal fertility panel costs maybe around 2000$. If you use Theranos, you could test FSH for $12.77, LH for $12.73, TSH for $11.55, Progesterone for $14.34, and so on. See <a href="http://www.theranos.com/test-menu?ref=our_solution">here</a> for a list of the Theranos tests. In an intereview in Wired magazine, she stated that her fertility panel would cost $35(!!!!!!!!!).<br />
<br />
Where is this available? Theranos has partnered with Walgreens, apparently, and they have planned a nationwide rollout. Currently this may be available to you at Walgreens stores in California and Arizona.<br />
<br />
I thought this was amazing. If it takes off, the amount of money that could be saved in the US is mindboggling, and people would be more willing to get tested for little things like iron or vitamin D or Vitamin B-12, which could go some way in optimizing their own health. So here is hoping that this woman keeps forging on, and doing my very small bit to help spread the word.<br />
<br />
For more information, go to the writeups in <a href="http://fortune.com/2014/06/12/theranos-blood-holmes/">Fortune</a> or <a href="http://www.wired.com/2014/02/elizabeth-holmes-theranos/">Wired</a>, or visit Theranos's <a href="http://www.theranos.com/">website</a>.<br />
<br />
Random information aside, I also know that a few of you only stop by to find out how Gauri and I are doing, so here goes: Gauri is such a happy child...she has a smile and laugh for everybody. She now turns over easily and wriggles forward. She babbles up a storm, observes everything, and gets seriously pissed off if you make her lie on your lap like a regular baby. She needs to be sitting up or standing, dammit, because she is a big girl now. She is a total drama queen too...major crocodile tears that abruptly dry up when you do what she wants you to do. She has discovered the joys of hair pulling: she yanks my hair around, and I feel like a horse being guided around by the reins. Her favorite thing is grabbing people by the hair and yanking them forward so she can slobber and gnaw on their cheeks/necks. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57644621261583551.post-45354784999941500292014-08-02T14:32:00.002+05:302014-08-04T07:25:36.338+05:30Unpredictability (updated)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
That seems to be the general theme now. My grandpa is in very bad shape: multiple strokes, deafness, etc have left him as a mere shadow of the dynamic and independent person he used to be. He is unbelievably frail, and yet has chugged along in this state for years now. My grandmother, a fiercely independent woman used to insist on taking care of him by herself, generally enjoys excellent health. We eventually persuaded her to move to Mumbai (a city she understandably dislikes, as it is so much less comfortable than Bangalore) by dangling the carrot of a great grandaughter. It worked. They have this beautiful bond: Gauri adores her, and she in turn lights up when she sees Gauri. My mom has always said how reserved her mother is, and yet this woman turns to mush when she sees my baby. I think the time Gauri spends with her on a daily basis has really helped my child too.<br />
<br />
Last week, my grandma had two heart attacks. It came out of nowhere as these things always do, and I shudder to think how everything would have gone down had she still insisted on living by herself far away in another city. She is only here because Gauri is here, and that is a rather thought-provoking thing. She is doing okay after an emergency angioplasty with two stents in, but the precariousness of the situation has hit home hard. In all this, it was always my grandpa's health that worried people, and this happens to my grandma.<br />
<br />
There was such an air of unreality around the whole thing, and still is. Thankfully, my mother is a rock in such situations, which really helps calm the rest of us down.<br />
<br />
My grandma should come home in a few days, and hopefully, all will be well. Gauri is also contributing to the general unpredictability. It seems like she has five different sleeping patterns, and she keeps switching them around to keep me guessing. I'm philosophically opposed to imposing a strict schedule for how she should be spending her days and nights, lack the discipline to do it even if I were so inclined (I think), and also have an incredibly stubborn child who sleeps when she wants to sleep, wakes up when she wants to wake up, and eats when she wants to eat. There were an entire roomful of people determinedly trying to wake her up during her naming ceremony: this child determinedly slept through their efforts and woke up with a bright smile once they all left. So, imposing a strict schedule to generate predictability as is the popular trend seems to be pretty much a non-starter here.<br />
<br />
The one thing I CAN and want to control via schedule is when to give her a massage (my mom's contribution mostly), followed by a bath. These two (especially the massage) really seem to help her sleep. On her best nights, she nods off within an hour of her nightime bath, and wakes up at 6-7 am (!!!!). On other nights, she takes 2-3 hours to sleep, but sleeps till 7 am. Then there are in between nights where she wakes up every 3-4 hours and goes quickly back to sleep. Slightly worse are the nights where she sleeps quickly but she wakes up every 1-2 hours. The worst nights are when she seems to incorporate <i>Nessum Dorma</i> as her personal motto and keeps me up till 3 am. Sometimes even 5 am. I never know which pattern it will be. I do know if I skip the bath and she has not stayed up all day, I'm likely dead meat.<br />
<br />
Another challenge with this baby is boredom. All of us talk to her, and we have long rollicking sing-song conversations. Then there is her gym (somebody gave me <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Growing-Baby-Animal-Activity/dp/B0084K6MAU/ref=sr_1_41?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1406969346&sr=1-41&keywords=fisher+price+gym">this one</a> as a gift and she loves it; should I also buy <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Rainforest-Melodies-Lights-Deluxe/dp/B000FFL58Q/ref=sr_1_1?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1406969423&sr=1-1&keywords=fisher+price+gym">this one</a> to keep it mixed up? Is the kick and play piano gym better? She also loves to be borne around being shown the ceiling fan (her great friend) in different rooms (rolling eyes). With all this, this kid still is bored occasionally and tries to screech the house down when we stop playing with her and set her down. It is raining cats and dogs continuously, so I can't take her out till this deluge ends. It is time to introduce touch-and-feel books. Anybody have any recommendations?<br />
<br />
Any ideas on books and other ways to keep her entertained would be very welcome.<br />
<br />
<i>Updated based on comments: Thank you all for the recommendations! I researched exersaucers, and the one thing I found is that they have a shorter usage window if you have a tall baby. Gauri has gone from the 25th percentile at birth for height to the 80th percentile by 3 months of age, and she is probably passed the 90th by now, so I think she would have only a short time with it. I hence decided to go with an activity table: I picked <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Bright-Starts-Having-Rollin-Activity/dp/B005J58CV0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1407079480&sr=8-1&keywords=activity+table">this one</a>...you can remove its legs and put it on the floor, so she could use it unsupervised as soon as she can sit up unaided, which should not be too far away. I also got the kick and play piano gym, and I'm trying to restrain myself so as to not also buy the rainforest deluxe one. </i> </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57644621261583551.post-66451138566453034922014-07-26T12:44:00.000+05:302014-08-12T19:14:06.519+05:30Wonderbaby<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Gauri is 3.5 months old! I want to describe how wonderful these past months have been, but I cannot do it justice. Even when it is not all unicorns and rainbows (like the nights where she decides that sleep is totally overrated and wants to stay up squealing/eating/pooping/<br />
squealing/pooping/eating for 4-6 hours at a stretch), I find myself laughing at her in between the bouts of begging her to go to sleep, trying everything to get her to sleep and failing, flopping down in exhaustion besides her, only to have her eventually get tired of playing by herself, and wail me awake: I had a wonderful audiofile that I recorded at 1:30 am that blogger unfortunately does not let me upload...its is all her concentrated vocal effort to make me "play" with her, complete with squeals and exasperated "eehhs." I have not been around many babies, so I know not what they do, but I'm rather astonished at her emotional range and how she manages to convey it despite her rather limited vocal range. <br />
<br />
<div>
But...anyway, occasionally sleeplessness aside, I'm loving it all. First thing, what people frequently observe about goat milk (that it supports robust growth) may be true: Don't know how this kid would have done on a breast milk diet, but as of now, she is <i>literally</i> shooting up and filling out too. I can see her grow in length from day to day...that bit is obviously influenced by genetics too, though and she does have a few very tall sisters. Overall though, I feel as wondrous as Jack after he planted his magic beans sometimes. Btw, if any of you do like to track growth on charts with a quick pictoral readout, this app is a really cool resource: <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.luckyxmobile.babycare&hl=en">Baby Care</a>, by Breet Jia </div>
<div>
<br />
She is in <i>such</i> a hurry to do everything, talk to everything, and eat everything: that enthusiasm is wonderful to watch, but I better start thinking about childproofing soon: Anger gives this child superpowers. When she is mad about something, she can move backwards across the length of kingsize bed in minutes, by just digging in her heels to propel herself backward. She is also making progress with torso strength...she can manage around 70% of a rollover when laid on her back, and she is seriously determined to manage the remaining 30%, though she has no clue what to do with her arm. Update: my mom told me she managed the back to stomach rollover. And I missed it!<br />
<br />
I keep coming up with random bizarre nicknames for her: the latest is a scientific name: <i>Goondius gauricus (Goondius </i> from "<i>goonda</i>," which translates loosely to thug or gangster (she does boss us all around like crazy) and <i>gauricus</i> from Gauri).<br />
<br />
If Morgan Freeman were providing commentary for this particular wildlife film, this is what I would feed the teleprompter:<i> Goondius gauricus</i> is a unique and wondrous creature. It kicks like a mule, chomps down like a shark, and has the appetite of a barracuda. It is generally a very, very happy creature that gives ear-splitting smiles and loves to babble. It likes to admire its gorgeous self in the mirror. It has a supersense of when it will be set down on a cold boring bed and readies itself in violent protest to avoid this. It has recently discovered the joys of grabbing and yanking hair and gnawing on plump cheeks (mama is sadly lacking in this regard, but grandmama is proving to be an acceptable chew toy). It has the stubbornness of a mule and shows signs of very much knowing its own mind. Yet, it also smiles shyly in its sleep when you bend down and whisper "goonda" to it.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57644621261583551.post-12400877957091330142014-07-15T11:44:00.002+05:302014-07-15T12:09:52.703+05:30Indecision 2014: TTC #2??<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Major decisions need to be made, and I am just <i>paralyzed</i>. As anybody who has managed to trudge through those ginormous reviews that I wrote is aware, I had 4 embryos and 2 vials of sperm left over, and Dr. Malpani refused to transfer them and tried to charge me fees for then continuing to store them <u style="font-style: italic;">after</u> I had expressly told him that I wanted them OUT of his storage facility. Sigh. I could have tried to force him via legal means to release my property to me, and while that would have been immensely satisfying on a few levels, we simply could not trust that whatever had been in his keeping would have been handled ethically, so thought it best to let it all go. Four embryos. A maybe baby. That was a very tough one, as you all could imagine. I just have to keep telling myself that if a life is fated to be, then it will be, otherwise there will be roadblock after roadblock.<br />
<br />
But now, if I want to have a second baby, I would have to get fresh vials from the US (which would cost me a pretty penny), do an IVF pronto (because my eggs were already this screwed up in my early 30s), and freeze the embryos. In all this rampant indecision, I know one thing for sure...I do not want baby #2 for atleast 3-4 years, because as soon as G is old enough, I have to move back to the US and try to get back to research and the life I knew, because god knows I miss it all. Currently I quit my fulltime job with the company I was with, and am just working as a freelance lifesciences editor from home. It has the potential to be pay very well, but I think getting dressed, going out, seeing people, and doing my own research is rather important to my own sanity in the longterm.<br />
<br />
The thought of another IVF frankly makes me want to whimper, and the worst part is I am not even sure I <i>want</i> another baby: I have a ton of help in taking care of Gauri, and yet, an utter joy as it is, the lack of sleep and sitting for hours with her on a soft bed are telling on me. I have serious back and neck issues, and I'm on the slow downward slide to a really bad condition called "chronic regional pain syndrome," or CRPS. Thankfully I'm with the one pain management specialist in the world who understands this well enough to fix it immediately. If I was not, I shudder to think how I would be doing. Bringing up a second child a few years in the future would only be harder (my body would be creakier, the people who help me now would be older and would find it more difficult as well), notwithstanding all the unique challenges that single moms face. Yet a part of me strongly does not want Gauri to be an only child. Later on, if that part of me holds sway, I don't want to be stymied by the state of my eggs at that later date, which means <b>I have to do that IVF now</b>.<br />
<br />
Right now, I'm taking it one day at a time, because I'm not yet ready to take any action in this area. Pulling the covers over my head has never felt so very good.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15553205805046479504noreply@blogger.com13